Back in the waning days of my previous marriage, things had gotten to the point where there was practically no “contact” at all between me and the very-soon-to-be-ex-Mrs-Moon. During a discussion of this issue, she suggested I needed at least one or more concubines. Being as I had no clue what a concubine was, I researched it and it seemed quite pleasing. So I immediately advertised on what eventually became the Microsoft Gaming Zone ( it was a LOT smaller then ). I posted the most self-centered egotistical thing ever on there sincerely. I mentioned I needed a concubine, explained the rules of concubinism ( no emotional attachments, purely for sexual gratification only ), asked for details of how they would please me, had to have physical details, along with a picture illustrating their physical attributes. I got 300 emails within about 1 week. I scoured these emails and picked a handfull of them. I talked to the first one, who was from Texas, and that went OK, we arranged a date. I later got a call from a second one, when I answered the phone, she just laughed hysterically for about five solid minutes. She was French Canadian, and had NEVER heard an accent like mine in real life. We eventually got past the hysterics and talked a while, and arranged a date. She decided to come to Kentucky. She arrived at the airport, I chased her down, opened my mouth and uttered “Welcome to Kentucky”, she bent over laughing again. We dated for about six months off and on. Once she stopped laughing at my accent, it was pretty much over.