Moonage Webdream

You know it’s a slow news day when you have headlines like this:

 2 NYC Firefighters Hurt in Scaffolding Collapse at Ground Zero Site: Watch Live

Now, I really don’t think I want to watch it LIVE.  In fact, I’ll just wish them well and not watch it at all.  That’s the end of that one.

But wait, there’s more!

That’s right, Beyonce has breasts.

We can’t stop there now can we? Lindsay Lohan, in the legal move of the century by claiming the coke she was carrying was in someone ELSE’S pants won. She’s just a seven-time misdemeanor convict, but not felon. Felons are just people who are too stupid to think of an alibi like that apparently. Someone else’s pants. HAH! HAH! HAH! Gotta love a prosecutor with a sense of humor. If it were me, she’d probably be in prison.

Maria Sharapova, the tennis star made most famous for what’s under her dress, is now advising other up and coming tennis stars on what to wear what people want to see under as well.

And all of that was made even more trivial than it already was by the announcement that Jenna Jameson is retiring again. And to celebrate, she ditched her boobs. The truly shocking part of that to me is she is only 33. OK, let’s get this in perspective here. Everyone who’s made an “honest” living the last fourteen years and are ready to legally and financially retire raise your hands. She’s made millions doing what we all do for free. To me, that’s the the biggest headline so far. The money she made, not the boobs she ditched.

Well, I take that back. the pigeon dung being bad for bridges story was pretty captivating. But that would go on the spacedream I would think.

Three stories about boobs, two stories about breasts, one story about poop. There’s more, but that’s all I have to say about that right now

Technorati Tags: beyonce, breasts, bridge, Entertainment, felon, firefighters, Hmmmmm, jenna-jameson, lindsay lohan, maria-sharapova, misdemeanor, nyc, Opinions, pants, Pavlov's Dog, pigeon-dung, Television, The Internet

Barry Bonds hit his 755th home run last night, tying Hank Aaron for the all-time most home runs.  On the way, he’s been taunted and booed due to his rumored steroid use.  Quite frankly, I don’t think any asterisk is required next to his name when he sets the record.  The BALCO investigation is often cited as the reason why he should be banned, or his records asterisked.  However, according to a fairly brief article that’s a must read, steroids were legal when that investigation took place.  The practice to taking performance enhancing sunstances dates back to apparently about 460BC.  Modern synthetic steroids are simply the latest version.  As they note, and I agree, what’s helped home run production more than anything else are the new home run parks that are smaller.  What would have been a long single at Fenway Park is now a long homer at Coors Field.  Add to the mix the fact there are many more teams than there were twenty or thirty years ago ( read diluted pitching talent ), and it makes things a lot easier for someone with talent to crank out big numbers.  Now, to me, that’s where the crux of the biscuit is.  Barry Bonds is incredibly talented.  Now, even IF he were taking steroids, the alternative could easily be argued that so are the pitchers.  Anyone who was a fan of the Big Red Machine of the 70’s remembers that a lot of the reason they crushed most opponents was not because of huge numbers of runs, it was because they had three or four pitchers that could consistently pitch 90 mph fast-balls and wild knuckleballs.  Look how many pitchers are pitching in the 90’s today.  EVERY team now has a few that pitch in the 90’s.  Now, the thing with physics is inertia is a mighty force to deal with.  You get your bat solidly on a 90 mph pitch, in a small field, and it’s going out very easily.  So, in addition to the smaller parks and better medical treatment, toss in pitchers with strong arms and no mix-ups and all a batter has to do is time two or three pitches and then put their bat on it.  Toss in some muscle and quick reaction and you’ve got a batter hitting 755 home runs.  Steroids don’t make you smarter, and they arguably don’t make you faster.  Barry Bonds is playing amongst his peers.  He’s done it day in and day out for a long, long, time.  So, because of that, I think he deserves where he is regardless of the rule change they made well into his career.

Besides, if this is going to be an issue, it will be a recurring one.  Alex Rodriguez became the youngest person to ever hit 500 home runs.  In another ten years or so, we’ll probably be having this same discussion again.

Technorati Tags: 755, alex-rodriguez, barry-bonds, coors-field, fenway-park, hank-aaron, home-run, Opinions, Sports, steroids

Today there is yet another headline of a run-in between a star and a photographer trying to take unwanted pictures of a star.  This has been an ongoing “headline” for a long, long, long time.  I kinda thought that when paparazzi killed Princess Diana that things would change.  Nothing did.  Now, I don’t really get how this is allowed in the first place.  Stalking is defined as a legal term for repeated harassment or other forms of invasion of a person’s privacy in a manner that causes fear to its target.  If you harass someone, and they ask you to stop, and you do it again, you’re stalking.  The first state to pass anti-stalking laws was California in 1990.  Since then every single state has passed anti-stalking laws.  Regardless of where someone is in the United States, it’s illegal.  Paparazzi doing what they do to get “candid” shots of celebrities is stalking.  It’s illegal.  Besides that, who really needs “candid” shots of celebrities in the first place?  Who really cares?  I know I don’t.  They do enough stupid things begging for publicity.  Do we really need pictures of them getting out of a car or walking their dog?  Folks, this stuff is not entertainment.  It’s not informative.  It’s not news.  It’s mindless fluff media use to fill voids in the news.  That’s all.  The news surrounding paparazzi is always what occurs between the celebrity not wishing to be harassed and/or stalked and the paparazzi doing it.  That we can completely do without.  I know I do already.  There’s too much excitement in this world for me to waste my time reading about a star wearing jeans and no make-up.

So, come on people, let’s start ignoring the paparazzi shots and maybe, just maybe, media will fill the void with real news instead.  It won’t take much effort from me.  And, I really doubt, it will take much effort from anyone else.

Technorati Tags: britney-spears, Entertainment, Opinions, paparazzi

A rather curious thing happened to Avril Lavigne on her way to the recording studio one day. She apparently wrote a song that sounds just like a lot of other songs.

Imagine that.

Her song, Girlfriend, sounded so much like Toni Basil’s Mickey, she threatened to sue. She didn’t, but Girlfriend sounded so much like The Rubinoos“I want to be your Boyfriend” that they did sue. Which leads me to the rather perplexing thought in my head. If two people sue because your song sounds just like theirs, did the two previous songs not sound a lot alike in the first place? Now that The Rubinoos have sued Avril, will they have to sue Toni or will Toni have to sue The Rubinoos to prove who’s song was the original? Avril could have avoided all this in the first place by simply claiming she’s a rapper instead of claiming it’s music.  And maybe if Avril would focus more on writing music instead of trying to convince anyone she’s a bad girl to be feared, she’d actually come up with original music that didn’t have people fighting over who gets to sue her next.  Just remember this Avril ( and all you grunge, screamo, and metal rockers out there ), there’s only two occupations where you use your throat.  Neither job pays to kick butt.   Just make music and leave the other stuff to the pros.  OK?

( What’s that ya say?  I didn’t link Avril’s song too?  That’s correct. )

Technorati Tags: avril-lavigne, boyfriend, girlfriend, i-want-to-be-your, mickey, Music, Opinions, plagiarism, rap, rubinoos, toni-basil

OK, here’s the headline:

Girls say driver kicked them off bus for kissing

Basically the major media laughs it off as a bus driver over-reacting to a sensual moment between to perfectly innocent little girls.  Something all peeps would enjoy viewing.  However, that’s not really the image that was on display.  Ya see, this is what the two girls look like:

Now, that’s not exactly the image of innocent little girls sneaking a kiss I would think of usually.  And, where was the driver taking them?  Get THIS, the Sexual Minority Youth Recreation Center.

Oh boy.

OK, let me go a little different direction at this time.  Child pornography is basically defined as “a visual depiction of a minor engaged in sexually explicit conduct”.   The driver, is left therefore stuck with two minors performing a visual depiction of explicit conduct using their mouths.  In other words, he’s witnessing a crime.  Where is he taking these two insisting on implicating him in this crime?  A place that deals with minors who have apparently had contact with the genitals of one person, and the mouth of another ( anyone wanna look up the definition of sodomy? ).

So, he called them sickos and asked them to take their criminal activity somewhere else.  Folks, this is fubar.  Where are these girls’ parents.  Where are the fashion police?  These two girls disgust me just looking at them.  God forbid I’d ever be compelled by political correctness to be forced to sit and watch them grope all over each other on the way to an orgy farm for other like-minded dysfunctional youths.  God forbid my community ever even come up with the incredibly bizarro concept of a place for gay KIDS.  Sheez people, they’re too young to even know they are gay.  Confusion is part of being a young teen.  They may be, but by law they’re not supposed to know it until they’re 18 or so.  Seems to me whoever helped them figure it out for sure should be in jail for sodomy and molestation.

Portland, you people have some serious issues to deal with.   I have never in my life heard of something as across the board fubar as this situation is and how bass-ackward society there is in expecting that driver, who didn’t want to be a part of something so fubar, is expected to apologize.

Those girls should be the ones apologizing to everyone on the bus.  Their parents should be apologizing for not raising their kids better.  And, Portland should apologize for wasting everyone’s money on the Sexual Minority Youth Recreation Center.  If anyone wants to explain to me what the difference in activities are at the Sexual Minority Youth Recreation Center versus the local YMCA for FOURTEEN YEAR OLDS is, do it in the form of an email.  And please don’t put my name on that email, you’re breaking serious laws.

Gawd.  This is so amazingly stupid.

Technorati Tags: bus-driver, child-porn, fubar, Idiot of the day, Jerk of the Day, lesbian, Media, Opinions, Oregon, Portland, Sexual-Minority-Youth-Recreation-Center, sodomy

Quickie Update, same day: Paris is back IN the slammer.  Basically it appears to me she’s stuck in the middle of a fight between the judge and the sheriff.  I still stand behind the comments I made earlier today tho.  At this point, it’s gone from just not being quite right to completely embarrassing and distracting way too much from the shuttle pre-launch hoopla.   After all this Paris stuff is over and done with, I’m betting I see a couple of lawsuits and at least one incredibly well-funded candidate for judge.  Now, back to the original post:

Paris got out early. Instead of 23 days in the slammer, she’ll be spending 45 days at the Paris Hilton. That’s her home.

Now, Rocky Delgadillo apparently isn’t too happy with this. As he should be. However, the big picture to me is based on the day to day world of incarceration. If California’s anything like Kentucky in regards to cell space, it’s very limited. To me, jail is where you put people who are a threat to society. Granted Paris’s driving may be a threat to society, where she’s incarcerated is irrelevant. The important thing here is that she is not allowed to drive in any shape, form, or fashion. Put the rapists, killers, robbers, child molesters and other violent criminals behind bars. With or without a car, they are real threat to everyone. Outside of her apparently bad driving, Paris is not much of a threat to anyone. If her sitting in that cell for 45 days filled it up to capacity and a rapist needed to be in there, that’s where the true injustice would occur. There were other cases cited to aggravate Delgadillo such as Tom Sizemore walking free as well as a couple of other stars behaving badly. That’s a different situation and he does have room to complain. However, the article goes so far as to insinuate he wonders why he even tries to prosecute stars. The reason he does is that is what he’s elected ( appointed? ) to do. It’s not his job to apply justice, it’s his job to prosecute. He did his job perfectly in the case of Paris Hilton. I think she’s learned a lesson. I have nothing but respect for Delgadillo for doing his job. I also respect the judge’s decision to send her home. So, I really think the only reason this is being debated publicly at all is because Paris is a big name. If this is the first time the judge has made a decision like this, then maybe there’s room for criticism. But, I really doubt it is.

Technorati Tags: home-incarceration, Opinions, paris hilton, rocky-delgadillo

I saw this video of Akon “owning” some kid for throwing a bottle at him. You can watch it if you want. The only part worth watching is about the last five seconds.

Now, what Akon did is assault. He could very well wind up hanging out with Paris. He could very well wind up staying a lot longer than Paris. Or, he could wind up getting off completely. The reason is he thought, or knew, that the kid had thrown a bottle at him. That’s assault as well. Akon has a right to defend himself. However, hurling a kid into an audience isn’t the way to do it. Besides looking awful, it’s just plain stupid as all the other kids that got hit by the flying kid can claim assault as well.

I have never understood the prevalence of the last 20 years or so of singers who think they are professional wrestlers. I really don’t. Nothing is wimpier than someone who sings for a living, that includes Akon. To go around acting like a bully doesn’t change that fact. Acting like a gangsta doesn’t change that fact. Acting like a biker doesn’t change that fact. The only muscle a singer uses is their vocal cords. Period. So, Akon, take my advice, once you do get out of prison, accept the fact that you’re a wimp and enjoy the cash singing brings you. And, if some kid who you’ve encouraged to act violently does, just accept the fact that it’s your own fault. It’s also your fault that if any of the kids I’m responsible for want to see an Akon show, it’s nixed without any discussion. Gotta protect them from all the evil the world has to offer, and Akon’s in that category, since he’s SOOOO BADDD.

Whatever happened to peace, love, and understanding?

Technorati Tags: Akon, assault, Jerk of the Day, Music, Opinions, owned, Parenting, rap

I tried to get Toys’R'Us to allow me to sell some of their toys due to occasional references I make here.

They turned me down.  Imagine that?

Technorati Tags: Opinions

Here’s the story:

In a perfect world, college basketball coaches would nearly double the size of the 65-team NCAA men’s tournament field. Realistically, they’d accept a smaller victory. Motivated in part by George Mason’s remarkable Final Four run last season, coaches will urge the NCAA to expand its most lucrative championship event during the men’s and women’s basketball committee meetings in Orlando, this week.

“They’d love to see the tournament double to 128,” said Jim Haney, executive director of the National Association of Basketball Coaches. “It’s based on several things. First, there are a lot of good teams worthy of making the NCAA field, and second, the size of 64 or 65 has been in place for a number of years.”

First of all, with the at-large bids, the best of the good teams make it. Sometimes they don’t. But, the problem is not that there are enough bids, it’s because they didn’t do enough to get in. Racking up wins by playing inferior teams doesn’t make you good, it just means you padded your schedule. I’m not interested in seeing those teams in March. Second, just because we’ve had too many teams in the tournament for a few years does not justify adding more.

Having 65 teams in the tournament at this point has rendered most of the better conference end of season tournaments meaningless. Expanding the field to 128 will render them ALL meaningless. All you’d have to do is play about 30 really bad teams and you’re in. There would be no reason at all for Kentucky to play Michigan, Duke, North Carolina, Louisville. or any other major team during the season. That’d just hurt their chances in getting to the tournament if they lost to a couple of them. That’s all. Secondly, there would be no reason for a coach to win their tournament. If the teams already has 25 or 26 wins, their in with 128 teams. The coach would be best suited to use the conference tournament to rest his stars and see who else is progressing. That would be fine for a 128 NCAA tournament. But, most people are more likely to watch their teams play close to home than at the various regional playoff rounds. And lastly, the NCAA tournament is supposed to be about the best teams in the country. Just because a team gets streaky hot in late March does not mean that for the entire season they were that good of a team.

The bottom line is there is a lot of parity in the NCAA basketball ranks these days. You only have to put five guys together to have a heck of a team. The evidence being cited to expand the tournament is actually just evidence the that NCAA selection committee has not done a terribly good job figuring out who the best teams are at the end of the season. Expanding the tournament won’t make them look any better.

UPDATE June 30, 2006: The NCAA nixed the expansion.

Technorati Tags: basketball, college, ncaa, Opinions, Sports, tournament

For the 57th straight year, a mystery man paid tribute to Edgar Allan Poe by placing roses and a bottle of cognac on the writer’s grave to mark his birthday.

This guy is doing a cool thing.  Now, apparently from the story, a few people tried to mess the whole thing up by trying to figure out who the guy is.  Clue here, OK?  Some things just aren’t worth knowing, especially if it messes up a cool thing.  Don’t mess it up.  SOME people know who the guy is and don’t feel it’s worth messing with either. So, let’s do the tasteful thing and let the guy show his private appreciation for Edgar Allan Poe.  It really doesn’t mean anything if the whole knows who the guy is.  OK?

Technorati Tags: edgar-allen-poe, grave, Hmmmmm, Opinions