Moonage Webdream

Paris Hilton had a confession recently:

“Every other guy I’ve been out with has used me for money or sex - but in most cases they just want fame.”

No, Paris, in ALL cases they wanted sex.  And, I would guess, in ALL cases they wanted money.  If they were in it for the fame, there’s something wrong with them.  Men are driven by much more primal instincts than fame.  Fame is just icing on the cake.  As long as they have money to do what they want, I don’t think that many normal guys worry about the headlines that much.  So, money’s up there, but sex?  No brainer Paris.  You will always be used to some degree by a man for sex.  If you go gay, you will be used to some degree by your woman.  Sex is the most primal instinct there is and for men especially, over-rules everything else.  If a man’s hungry, and in a position to score, the food will wait.  So Paris, get used to that.  Use it.  Don’t fret the other stuff either.  You got plenty of money, and no man truly is after your fame.  So, kick back, relax, and do what you do best without worrying too much about man’s motivations:

( Bet ya thought I’d go with One Night in Paris didn’t ya? )

Technorati Tags: fame, money, paris hilton, Sex

Tara Reid won’t go back to acting until the strike is over.  No one is quite sure what strike that is.  The writers’ strike ended about six months ago.  She thinks she’s been watching re-runs and previously recorded shows since then.  think twice about entertainers gving advice on who to vote for 

The upside of her stand is I get to post another pic of her:

Now, I’m not sure anyone really cares if she ever figures out that the strike is over.  Just keep posing.  That’s what she does best by far.

Technorati Tags: entertainers, strike, Tara-Reid

This story has me so stumped I can’t even come up with a witty title.

It goes like this.

Terri Hughes worked for Playboy.  Now, granted, it was the Playboy Radio show called “Night Calls“.  Now, if you click on that link to the Night Calls preview site, you’ll get nothing but nude women.

I mean, nothing BUT nude women.

The show itself was about sex.  In other words, porn stars talking about sex, acting out sex, having sex.

The show was about only one thing.  Sex.  It featured porn stars.

Am I making myself perfectly clear here?

I hope so.

Miss Hughes, who was a producer for said sex show, now claims she was harmed by being around all the sex.

I don’t doubt that she was.  I couldn’t imagine anything more awful than watching professional porn stars doing what they do best.  Must have been hell.

However, the problem I have is she worked for PLAYBOY.

What did she expect?

She then goes on to say that her boss didn’t want a Negro show when she wanted to team up with another black lady.

Now, that is what is called bona fide job qualification.  In no other occupation is skin color actually more of an issue than porn.  I mean that sincerely.  For those who enjoy porn, they get very picky.  It’s not a racial thing.  Just as quickly someone will discriminate against someone for being too dark, they’ll discriminate about being too skinny, wrong hair style, tattoos in the wrong place, piercings, boob size and location, you name it.  Sex is where the line is drawn in a major way when it comes to discriminating tastes.  Go look at the titles of a few movies if you want.  Racism, sexism, perversion, drug use, hell, they even smoke cigarettes sometimes.  That’s what porn’s all about.  Shock value and pandering to the most primal human urge.

Somehow, Terri Hughes never apparently knew that.  So, imagine her shock, I’m sure, when they casted for a “teen-looking petite blonde”, and she shows up to audition.  How would YOU have explained it?  Probably not the way this person supposedly did.  But the gyst would have been about the same.  There’s just no way to avoid it.

Then, I’m sure the straw that broke the camel’s back was when she autitioned for “Midgets Doing Naughty Carnival Shows” and was told she was too tall.

Technorati Tags: christy canyon, cigarettes, drug use, hair style, nude women, perversion, playboy, professional porn stars, pron, sex show, shock value, skin color, talking about sex, tattoos, terri hughes

Robert Diamond must have decided he had had enough of something.  What it is, I don’t know.  However, during his planning for the big event, I have to assume he picked the clothing carefully as the headlines guaranteed by his deed would be plastered all over the news for a day or two.  This would be his one claim to fame.  Now, given that assumed mindset, this is his statement:

“Stupidity is not a crime, you’re free to go.”

Well, stupidity may not be a crime, but murder is.  Wonder if he’ll be wearing that same statement when they throw the switch?

Technorati Tags: murder, robert diamond, stupidity is not a crime

Now, THIS is dead-sexy!

Supposedly it’s Jessica’s jab at Carrie Underwood, former girlfriend of Jessica’s current boyfriend.  Apparently she got tired of hearing what a wonderful vegetarian Carrie is.  PETA is not amused.  They therefore dug as deep inside their souls as possible and put together the wittiest reply they could.  Here’s a synopsis:

1. Meat increases the risk of breast cancer
2. Real girls don’t support animal abuse
3. The meat industry is destroying the Earth
4. Meat will make you fat
5. Eating meat steals food from starving kids

Are those PETA peeps a riot or what?

Now, personally, I won’t hang out with a babe who refuses to eat meat.  I want a babe open to anything.  If she wants meat, she’ll eat it.  If she wants hers without meat, she’ll do it.  That to me, is a REAL girl.  PETA’s stance on no meat at any time just leaves me, well, hanging.  I love my meat.  I like it when I’m with someone who appreciates meat equally, sometimes even complimenting the meat.  I mean, complimenting a slice of bread just doesn’t strike me as being too exciting.

But, maybe that’s just me.  What do YOU think?

Technorati Tags: animal abuse, breast cancer, carrie underwood, destroying the planet, jessica-simpson, opinion polls, peta, real girls, real girls eat meat, starving kids, tony romo

I love stuff like this.  In Britney Speas’ lawsuit involving a paparazzi who’s foot she ran over, her lawyer made this assertion:

“….only way the victim’s foot could have been where the video indicates it to be was by the victim placing it in that location.”

Now, the sheer brilliance of this insight is further magnified because we are talking about Britney here.  Which reminds me, I haven’t posted a pic of her lately:

Technorati Tags: Britney, foot, lawsuit, lawyer, opinion polls, paparazzi, Spears

I enjoy Newsbusters almost as much as Mythbusters.  They’re a hoot at pointing out factual errors in reporting.  And, they LOVE picking on MSNBC.  Good reason to, MSNBC is a classic at bad reporting.  However, in their haste to show how wrong today’s headline was, I think they missed the obvious chuckle of the day.  To wit, a young girl makes a trip to the North Pole.  Now, we’d all like to go there, so that part’s pretty interesting as it is.  However, the North Pole is a pretty dull place for the most part.  Just a bunch of snow.  So, to liven up their piece a bit and to turn it into a global warming message, MSNBC embellished by adding melting glaciers and starving penguins.  Two problems with that obviously stick out.  First, and most conspicuous is the fact there are no glaciers on the North Pole.  It’s a flat plain.  Secondly, and the part that really got under Newsbusters’ skin, there are no penguins on the North Pole either.  However, the best part of it all to me was what Newsbusters totally missed.  Namely, this:

Now, to me, that is more exciting than the fact there are no penguins on the North Pole.  That name ring any bells?  Maybe this will:

Get it now?  The babe who needed a canoe for ankle deep water also thinks there are glaciers and penguins on the North Pole.

Man, where was she when I was in college?

Technorati Tags: Camilla Hempleman-Adams, flood, glacier, global warming, michelle kosinski, msnbc, new jersey, newbusters, north pole, penguin

Sometimes I gotta wonder what it takes to be a major media contributer.  Today’s case in point:

The headline:

Nearly 100 Students Arrested in Massive Drug Raid at San Diego State University

Simple enough.  Enticing, curiosity is piqued.  Good job so far.  Now, to the meat of the story:

The San Diego County district attorney’s office says nearly 100 students have been arrested at San Diego State University on drug-related charges.

Drugs, cash and guns were seized from sellers and buyers in the bust that followed a five-month undercover operation.

Pretty standard fare so far.  I’m still wondering what makes this a national headline. I mean, we had this many arrested in a bust in rural Kentucky.  96 busted at a party school in Southern California struck me as being pretty lame.  Maybe, just possibly, it was this:

Prosecutors say the 96 arrests include fraternity members.

OMG!  No way I say!  Who would ever in a bazillion years have guessed frat boys do drugs too?

Well, now that the investigation is obviously over, I have at my disposal a flick of what apparently tipped off Fox that some of these frat boys might have been stoners:

( What exactly is the point of this story again? )

Technorati Tags: animal house, bust, drugs, foxnews, san-diego-state, stoners

Yesterday during the Kentucky - Arkansas game, with the 30 seconds left and the game on the line, CBS cut away to the Duke game.  Now, it’s bad enough to cut away from the game everyone here wanted to see.  But, to suddenly be watching Duke?  After I imagine several thousand irate phone calls, they cut back to the UK game with about 10 seconds left and the game basically over.  I doubt too many people here hung around to watch the Duke game 

Technorati Tags: arkansas, CBS, Duke, kentucky

I loved this:

Those are letters we got to put on Moonlet’s wall.  For those that couldn’t recognize the big huge letter D, they stick labels on the clear cover to make sure you don’t get it wrong.

Technorati Tags: D, stupid-labels