Moonage Webdream

Looking at things that probably don’t need to be looked at

Archive for the ‘Hmmmmm’ Category

Dec-12-08

Girls in sinks the new black?

posted by Moonage

Saw this in the news today:

kfc gals 

Three girls in California were fired for partying sorta naked in a KFC sink.  This comes on the heels of some dude getting fired for bathing in a Burger King sink.  Is this a new trend or something?  Now, given some of the other trends of the last few decades or so, this one’s pretty lame.  I like it.  Now, I’ve never partied semi-naked in any sink, so I can’t say how much fun this is.  But, pardon the pun, it’s clean fun.  And, to me, it does sound like fun.  Given the sanitary aspects, I can see the restaurants having to oppose this rebellious practice.  However, getting fired from a KFC or Burger King isn’t exactly a life altering event.  So, if it’s a choice between drugs, alcohol, sex, or partying in sinks, I’m all for the sinks.

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Nov-17-08

Theft of the Dead Parrot?

posted by Moonage

One of my favoritest Monty Python sketches has always been the Dead Parrot.  It’s remained a classic for pretty much the entirity of my life.  In fact, I’d like to see it again, so here goes:

Actually, come to think of it, it’s been a classic for the lifetime of a lot of people.  Seems the joke’s been around since about 4AD.  That’s a pretty long time for a joke to remain funny.

Now, I gotta wonder, if someone could find evidence that they are direct descendant of the guy who wrote the joke sixteen hundred years ago, could they sue Monty Python and collect royalties on a thirty year old show?  I can’t see it ever happening, but I bet it would be a riot to watch in court.

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Nov-13-08

Bacon painting goes unsold

posted by Moonage

According to Fox, something very strange occurred last night.  Namely this:

bacon painting 

did NOT sell for $40,000,000!  I repeat, it did NOT sell for $40,000,000.  According to the story, there were gasps in the audience when it was obvious no one was going to ante up $40,000,000 for that painting.  Apparently the best they could do during the auction was a paltry $27,400,000.  That was just not acceptable so they halted the sale, took their painting, and went home.

Now, I just gotta wonder what is it about that painting that made it suddenly such an inferior product that it could NOT bring $40,000,000?  Why is it ONLY worth apparently $27,400,000?  Has his face become less distinguishable since 1964?  Has the black box faded?  Have the walls become less bland since 1964?  What?  I mean, sheez, this painting has apparently lost nearly $13,000,000 in value from some point in the past.

OK, I’m being sarcastic up to this point.  It’s obvious I don’t think this painting is worth $27,400,000, much less $40,000,000.  What I would entertain here is someone to explain to me why they think it IS worth $40,000,000 and why the peeps at the auction should have gasped when it failed to bring that value.

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Oct-17-08

Brian Eno in Somerset, KY?

posted by Moonage

Got this news on Myspace today:
eno_in_somerset

Cool beans huh!  Brian Eno is coming to Somerset, Kentucky!

OK, for the record, he’s not coming to rural Kentucky.  He’s coming to Knoxville, Tennessee.  That’s not too far from here.  But, it made for a good chuckle for me.  I’d can imagine Brian Eno passing time in rural Kentucky.  Somehow I just don’t picture this guy fishing or off-roading.

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Oct-13-08

Sometimes I wonder…..

posted by Moonage
Sep-19-08

Terri Hughes

posted by Moonage

This story has me so stumped I can’t even come up with a witty title.

It goes like this.

Terri Hughes worked for Playboy.  Now, granted, it was the Playboy Radio show called “Night Calls“.  Now, if you click on that link to the Night Calls preview site, you’ll get nothing but nude women.

I mean, nothing BUT nude women.

The show itself was about sex.  In other words, porn stars talking about sex, acting out sex, having sex.

The show was about only one thing.  Sex.  It featured porn stars.

Am I making myself perfectly clear here?

I hope so.

Miss Hughes, who was a producer for said sex show, now claims she was harmed by being around all the sex.

I don’t doubt that she was.  I couldn’t imagine anything more awful than watching professional porn stars doing what they do best.  Must have been hell.

However, the problem I have is she worked for PLAYBOY.

What did she expect?

She then goes on to say that her boss didn’t want a Negro show when she wanted to team up with another black lady.

Now, that is what is called bona fide job qualification.  In no other occupation is skin color actually more of an issue than porn.  I mean that sincerely.  For those who enjoy porn, they get very picky.  It’s not a racial thing.  Just as quickly someone will discriminate against someone for being too dark, they’ll discriminate about being too skinny, wrong hair style, tattoos in the wrong place, piercings, boob size and location, you name it.  Sex is where the line is drawn in a major way when it comes to discriminating tastes.  Go look at the titles of a few movies if you want.  Racism, sexism, perversion, drug use, hell, they even smoke cigarettes sometimes.  That’s what porn’s all about.  Shock value and pandering to the most primal human urge.

Somehow, Terri Hughes never apparently knew that.  So, imagine her shock, I’m sure, when they casted for a “teen-looking petite blonde”, and she shows up to audition.  How would YOU have explained it?  Probably not the way this person supposedly did.  But the gyst would have been about the same.  There’s just no way to avoid it.

Then, I’m sure the straw that broke the camel’s back was when she autitioned for “Midgets Doing Naughty Carnival Shows” and was told she was too tall.

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Aug-27-08

How old is grandpa?

posted by Moonage

I have received this email in various formats.  Here’s the latest:

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about current events.  The grandson asked his grandfather what he thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and things in general.
                              
The Grandfather replied, ‘Well, let me think a minute, I was born before:

  • television
  • penicillin
  • polio shots
  • frozen foods
  • Xerox
  • contact lenses
  • Frisbees and
  • the pill

There were no:

  • credit cards
  • laser beams or
  • ball-point pens

Man had not invented:

  • pantyhose
  • air conditioners
  • dishwashers
  • clothes dryers and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air
  • and man hadn’t yet walked on the moon

Your Grandmother and I got married first, . . . then lived together. 

Every family had a father and a mother.

Until I was 25, I called every man older than me, ‘Sir’.

And after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, ‘Sir.’

We were before gay-rights, computer-dating, dual careers, daycare centers, and group therapy.

Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and common sense. 

We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.

Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege.

We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent. 

Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins. 

Draft dodgers were people who closed their front doors when the evening breeze started. 

Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends-not purchasing condominiums.

We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings. 

We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President’s speeches on our radios. 

And I don’t ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey. 

If you saw anything with ‘Made in Japan ‘ on it, it was junk 

The term ‘making out’ referred to how you did on your school exam. 

Pizza Hut, McDonald’s, and instant coffee was unheard of.

We had 5 & 10-cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents.

Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel

And if you didn’t want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.

You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, . . . but who could afford one?

Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon. 

In my day:

  • ‘grass’ was mowed,
  • ‘coke’ was a cold drink,
  • ‘pot’ was something your mother cooked in and
  • ‘rock music’ was your grandmother’s lullaby. 
  • ‘Aids’ were helpers in the Principal’s office,
  • ‘chip’ meant a piece of wood,
  • ‘hardware’ was found in a hardware store and
  • ’software’ wasn’t even a word.

No wonder people call us ‘old and confused’ and say there is a generation gap… and how old do you think I am?

I bet you have this old man in mind…you are in for a shock!

Read on to see — pretty scary if you think about it and pretty sad at the same time. 

Are you ready ?????

This man would be only 59 years old.

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Jul-14-08

Help me with a housewarming present, please

posted by Moonage

Comments would be appreciated as well.

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Jul-3-08

The upside of high gas prices

posted by Moonage

Woman Accused of Trading Sex for Gasoline

 

I wanna be a gas station attendant when I grow up!

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May-12-08

Sometimes numbers lie

posted by Moonage

Got a real shock when I saw this headline:

Death Toll From China Quake Rises to 107, 900 Students Buried

To be a little more clear, that’s not 107,900 students buried.  That’s 107 deaths, 900 students buried.

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