If you like New Moon, run away. Run away very fast.
Me and the boy went to see Planet 51
Now, the people that run this particular theatre are hopeless idiots. They put everyone in the same line regardless of the fact there are nine theaters, two showing New Moon, at different times. Get the problem yet? Yeah, when the first theater filled up, they stopped the line. Problem was, they stopped everyone from going to any of the other theaters. They finally figured it out and ran up and down the line pulling out the people that protested being in the line in the first place. That was my first brush with New Moon.
A few days later the BOY wanted to go see a movie. He had been feeling ill so I felt this was a great idea. Due to all the commotion, he felt he HAD to see New Moon as well. I protested, pushing for Fantastic Mr. Fox, but lost. We got to the mall, it was lined up again. This time they figured it out. They had a line for New Moon, and a line for everything else. 2012 was opening there, so the everything else line was a mess, New Moon not so much. So, my first conclusion was the obvious one, only idiots booked New Moon.
We eventually made it into the movie. I’m going to sum up the entire movie with three pictures. This isn’t a spoiler because I can’t really say what the point to the movie was:
That is Bella. She’s mopy and sad and morose and get’s a rush doing really stupid things. That’s a picture of how she looked doing all of the above. She’s all things Emo.
I hate Emo.
That’s her love interest, Edward Cullen. Edward’s 109 years old. He’s been dead about 91 of those years. Nuff said.
That’s Jacob Black. He smiled a lot in the first movie. In this one he falls in love with Bella. Within minutes he’s mopy, whiny, morose, sad, and smells like a dog. That’s his all-purpose pose for this movie.
About fifteen minutes into the movie, Moonlet asked how long the movie was. I very quickly checked my Iphone. Fifteen minutes later he asked if we could leave. He left to pee three times. He wanted seconds on his drink. Then he wanted seconds on his popcorn. He didn’t want to eat it, he just wanted to stand in the concession line. I don’t blame him.
This movie will enjoy its fifteen minutes of fame before it’s quickly forgotten by the next mopy, whiny, chick-flick. However, by next year, I doubt Moonlet will be falling for the same trick.
Disclaimer: This is not a review of the books. I hear they’re great. However, I don’t think this movie served them well.
LOL Love your movie review. Sorry your theater sucks and that you got dragged to it. Your assessment is pretty good. Love the sarcasm:) It actually was a great movie and did the book justice better than Harry Potter has been as of late. I love Twilight, hee:)
Like I said, I had three strikes going in:
1. I don’t do long lines.
2. I didn’t read the books.
3. Boys running around shirtless means absolutely nothing to me.
4. I really don’t care about any young girl’s struggles over which dead zombie she should spend eternity with.
5. Bad boys don’t wear mascara and lipstick. Used to they could pull it off, but lately it just makes them look like vampires.
6. I like movies where vampires and werewolves ( there, wolf ), are scary creatures that rip their dates to shreds before devouring them in an orgy of blood and excessive gore.
7. I’m tired of women depicting men as dogs. It’s so passe.
8. It had no nude BABES, or anything even close.
9. No big booms.
10. Young Frankenstein was the only post-modern black and white movie that mattered. Yeah, I know this movie was “color”, but 10 shades of gray bores me.
OK, so I had ten strikes.