Moonage Webdream

This year I have watched very little pro football.  Last year I didn’t either.  Last year it was because my Sundays were occupied by a very active four year old.  This year, it’s because there’s no reason to.  This has been the dullest NFL season ever.

Now, my season pretty much ended the second week.  That’s when I came to the conclusion the Bengals were not coming to play this year.  By midseason, it was obvious.  They hadn’t won a game.  Now, since that time they’ve gone 1-1-1.  ( Yeah, they somehow managed a tie.  No one wins in a tie. )  That makes their season to date 1-9-1.  Managing one win in an entire season should mean you suck beyond belief.  That all the millions in salary and years of training have somehow completely vanished.  However, as unbelievably pathetic as the Bengals are, they are ahead of the Lions and Chiefs.  The Chiefs have lost more games, and believe it or not, the Lions have won less.  However, the true claim to how bad this season is belongs to the NFC West, here is how they stand right now:

Arizona, by virture of basically winning one particular game, is the only team above .500.  They’re going to the playoffs if they manage to fight off the 3-8 49′ers.

Think that’s pathetic, the NFC North is even worse:

Sure, we’ve got a three-way race.  But, it’s very possible the division winner could have a losing record.  To say none of the teams from either division deserve to representing the best of the NFL at the end of the season is a farce.

Now, the season appears to the New York Giants and Tennessee Titans so far.  They’ve had great seasons.  However, so far, they are the only two in the entire NFL that really can make a claim.  Dallas is pretty good at 8-4, but to me that’s just upper-average.

Sure, a lot of people will be hanging on the edge of their seats since most divisions will go to the final week or two to see who makes the playoffs with 8-8 records ( or worse ).  But, to me that’s just rewarding mediocre and worse play.  I’m tired of mediocre play.

Someone pointed out on Foxsports that it’s not so much that these teams are losing with incredible predictability, it’s that by the end of the first quarter, it appears they are giving up.  The Lions lost to the Titans yesterday.  The highlights looked like an elementary school game.  I’m dead serious.  The Titans were running through holes untouched.  Sure, the Titans are good right now, but the Lions players are supposed to be professionals as well.  What I saw from yesterday was not professional.  It was pathetic.  You could tell those guys are just going through the motions.  I don’t blame that on a coach, an owner, or anyone other than the player taking a dive.  I’m sure they’re down right now.  But, from watching their effort, they deserve to be.  What’s really bugging me is about half of the NFL appears to be in the same boat. 

Now, some may say I’m being too critical.  But, when teams don’t come to play, you don’t see a good game.  You don’t see hard hits, miraculous catches, or that extra lunge to get that one yard that could change the game.  In a lot of NFL games, it is that one big play that often will change the outcome.  Six teams right now don’t seem to care enough to make set up that one big play by putting it all on the line.  What that translates to is the team with most good players will win.  What that means is I can look at the schedule and tell who’s going to win.  What that means is there is no reason to watch the game since the final score will look as exciting on the internet and consume less time than watching the game to see who wins.  Bottom line, there is no reason to watch.  So, for about two months, I haven’t.  I’m quite sure I’m not the only one that hasn’t either.  A lot of fans have been cheated this year.

For a long time, I’ve complained that the NFL is out of control.  That the players are over-paid and because of that become distracted by fame and wealth and less concerned with performance.  Some keep focused and become hall of famers, but most simply take their paycheck while they can.  I think it has gotten to the point where that balance is horribly out of sync.  The NFL needs to grow some gonads, face the music, and renegotiate how they pay these athletes.  Reward results, not simply being there.  The Lions, Chiefs, Bengals, and a few other entire teams are simply being there.  If they played a little hungrier, I know the Bengals would be a lot better.  They have talent in most key positions.  They are just not hungry enough.  Two and three years ago basically the same players were winning a lot more.  Something happened.  Most are blaming it on Marvin Lewis.  I’m not.  I’m blaming it on the players.  They are not desperate, they are not hungry, they are not willing to put their bodies on the line for the sake of the team.  Because of that, they are not getting interceptions like they were, they are not stopping drives, they are not scoring touchdowns on catches that put their bodies in jeapordy.  In simple terms, they are just showing up to get a paycheck.

That simply needs to end.  The players win by simply making it to the NFL.  That needs to change.  Ditch the salary concept.  Make it a competitive sport again.

Technorati Tags: arizona, arizona cardinals, bengals, chicago bears, chiefs, detroit lions, green bay packers, lions, minnesota vikings, new york giants, nfc west, nfl, nfl season, pro football, salary, san francisco, san francisco 49ers, seattle, seattle seahawks, st louis rams, tennessee titans

This is just plum goofy.  Guns n’ Roses started recording their album Chinese Democracy in 1994.  It got to be such a joke about it ever being released that Dr. Pepper pretty much joined the joke by saying if it did get released this year, they’d buy everyone a drink ( of Dr. Pepper  ).  Sure enough, after fourteen years, it got released.  Dr. Pepper quickly set up a site where everyone could go get a coupon for a free drink.  It didn’t work too well apparently.  So, Axl Rose is filing a lawsuit against Dr. Pepper.

Now, my take on this is not good.  You have to understand that the band that recorded Chinese Democracy in 1994 looked something like this:

Axl Rose
Slash
Dizzy Reed
Steven Adler, Matt Sorum
Izzy Stradlin, Gilby Clarke
Duff McKagan
Paul Tobias
Buckethead (?)

The band that released the album in 2008 looks something like this:

Axl Rose
Bumblefoot (guitarist)
Dizzy Reed (keyboards)
Brian Mantia (drums)
Robin Finck (guitar)
Thomas Stinson (bass)
Richard Fortus (guitar)
Chris Pitman (keyboards)

That line-up, of course, is subject to change.  If I were at Dr. Pepper, I’d probably counter-sue that the Guns n’ Roses that recorded the album in 1994 should be the proper litigants.  If I were Dr. Pepper, I’d simply state that one man does not make a band.  There’s a lot more to that statement than simply arguing over a free drink.  Secondly, I’d argue that since it took fourteen years for them to release the album, Dr. Pepper should have the same time frame to release their coupons.  I’m not sure what the terms of the “bet” were, but I doubt there was a time frame involved.  And lastly, although Axl is saying the botched coupon promotion represented unauthorized use and abuse of their publicity and intellectual property rights“, it’s probably the best promotion Axl could have hoped for since Guns n’ Roses is considered pretty much a joke these days.

I, like millions of other people, loved Guns n’ Roses when they hit the scene.  However, it became evident real quick that Axl was a little prick and not worthy of my adulation.  All the advent of Chinese Democracy and this lawsuit proves is Axl still is.  This line-up is not Guns n’ Roses, it’s Axl and his latest cast of support members.  There may be some decent tunes on this album, but I’ll pass.  I will however, continue to support my favorite soda.  Dr. Pepper.

Technorati Tags: axl-rose, chinese democracy, coupon promotion, dr pepper, fourteen years, guns n roses, intellectual property rights, lawsuit, litigants

The boy conned me into seeing appaloosa.  Saying it was about Cowboys. He had seen it with Mrs. Moon, so I assumed he knew what he was talking about.

I’m just gonna say I didn’t like it.  It was so stereotypical western in every way I just sat there the entire time wishing I was watching something like:

I mean, how many times can a person be expected to watch the same plot, in the same scenery, under the exact same circumstances, when the classic was made a long, long time ago? Sure, Appaloosa was done well and the script was pretty good. But, good guys shooting bad guys over a perceived “gold mine” was covered a long long time ago and this movie didn’t deviate from the norm in any way at all. I was bored, the boy got bored, and that made for an even less enjoyable time watching a boring movie than it had to be.

No thumbs.

Technorati Tags: appaloosa, clint eastwood, cowboy

One of my favoritest Monty Python sketches has always been the Dead Parrot.  It’s remained a classic for pretty much the entirity of my life.  In fact, I’d like to see it again, so here goes:

Actually, come to think of it, it’s been a classic for the lifetime of a lot of people.  Seems the joke’s been around since about 4AD.  That’s a pretty long time for a joke to remain funny.

Now, I gotta wonder, if someone could find evidence that they are direct descendant of the guy who wrote the joke sixteen hundred years ago, could they sue Monty Python and collect royalties on a thirty year old show?  I can’t see it ever happening, but I bet it would be a riot to watch in court.

Technorati Tags: dead parrot, greek, Humor, monty-python

According to Fox, something very strange occurred last night.  Namely this:

did NOT sell for $40,000,000!  I repeat, it did NOT sell for $40,000,000.  According to the story, there were gasps in the audience when it was obvious no one was going to ante up $40,000,000 for that painting.  Apparently the best they could do during the auction was a paltry $27,400,000.  That was just not acceptable so they halted the sale, took their painting, and went home.

Now, I just gotta wonder what is it about that painting that made it suddenly such an inferior product that it could NOT bring $40,000,000?  Why is it ONLY worth apparently $27,400,000?  Has his face become less distinguishable since 1964?  Has the black box faded?  Have the walls become less bland since 1964?  What?  I mean, sheez, this painting has apparently lost nearly $13,000,000 in value from some point in the past.

OK, I’m being sarcastic up to this point.  It’s obvious I don’t think this painting is worth $27,400,000, much less $40,000,000.  What I would entertain here is someone to explain to me why they think it IS worth $40,000,000 and why the peeps at the auction should have gasped when it failed to bring that value.

Technorati Tags: auction, bacon, francis, francis-bacon, painting

The Moonlet and I went to see Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa.  I really didn’t like it much.  The humor was not well suited for small kids.  There was a lot of stuff about relationships, between a father and son, between rivals, between suitors, etc..  Kids just don’t get that at five to six years old and made for a lot of fidgeting.  Sure, there were some funny scenes, but that just made for temporary lapses in an otherwise too involved movie to be a cartoon for kids.  As bad as I hated sitting through High School Musical 3, both the boy and I enjoyed it more.  The only consolation to seeing this movie was Moonlet ran into one of his best friends and they had a blast being with each other.  I however, was not so lucky and had to rely on the movie for entertainment.  That didn’t happen.  As for doing something with the kids, doing anything with the kid is a good thing.  That is the only redeeming quality about seeing this movie with the kid.  He didn’t suggest we see it again either.

Technorati Tags: escape 2 africa, madagascar, movie, review

I just hate to see stories like this:

Polish court Friday reprimanded two Polish women, including 28-year-old model Dorota Krzysztofek, seen here sitting in court and who has appeared in men’s magazines, for indecent exposure after they sunbathed topless, a rarity in the deeply Catholic country. (AFP)

They were busted for laying around sunbathing.  Now, where I think it went over the top and the Polish decided they had to do something is because this is what Dorota Krzysztofek looks like with clothes on:

And this is what she looks like with not so many clothes on.  Now, the Bible says man should not lust.  But, God also throws all kinds of temptation at him to resist.  I can resist, sorta. But, worst case scenario, I will fail and lust.  No one gets hurt if I lust.  best case scenario, I resist the lust and become a better person for it.  Regardless, if I’m not tempted, I’ll never become better.  So, we’ll never know.  As it is, catching something like Dorota Krzysztofek laying around mostly naked just doesn’t happen very often around here, so when it does happen, and I’ve not been given the chance to make myself a better person, I lust.  That is probably the same situation the Polish judges were in.

In the meantime, you can watch multiple murders on Polish tv every night just as you can here.  The Bible also says murder is a bad thing, in the same vein as lust.  So, standing to logic, it would seem to me that depictions of murder should not be allowed in Poland either.  That won’t happen any time soon in Poland, or here either.  For reasons I have never understood, a lot of societies condone and encourage extreme violence while discouraging people from taking pride in themselves.  Dorota Krzysztofek has a fantastic body.  Why she has to hide it befuddles me.  Gangsta rappers and tv shows depicting murder should be the ones getting reprimanded, not Dorota Krzysztofek.

Technorati Tags: Dorota Krzysztofek, nudity, pavlov, poland, reprimand, sunbathing, violence

A while back I did a little dance with Independent Sources about Melissa Theuriau.  Not sure if you remember her or not, maybe this will jog your memory:

I had other pics that were more memorable, but I try to keep some standards here to keep it R’ish.  well, it seems Melissa’s not been sitting around much of late.  She has apparently moved in such a way as to become quite pregnant.  Good for her!  Bad for lurking.

Technorati Tags: Independent-Sources, meliss theuriau, pavlov, pregnant

Paris Hilton had a confession recently:

“Every other guy I’ve been out with has used me for money or sex - but in most cases they just want fame.”

No, Paris, in ALL cases they wanted sex.  And, I would guess, in ALL cases they wanted money.  If they were in it for the fame, there’s something wrong with them.  Men are driven by much more primal instincts than fame.  Fame is just icing on the cake.  As long as they have money to do what they want, I don’t think that many normal guys worry about the headlines that much.  So, money’s up there, but sex?  No brainer Paris.  You will always be used to some degree by a man for sex.  If you go gay, you will be used to some degree by your woman.  Sex is the most primal instinct there is and for men especially, over-rules everything else.  If a man’s hungry, and in a position to score, the food will wait.  So Paris, get used to that.  Use it.  Don’t fret the other stuff either.  You got plenty of money, and no man truly is after your fame.  So, kick back, relax, and do what you do best without worrying too much about man’s motivations:

( Bet ya thought I’d go with One Night in Paris didn’t ya? )

Technorati Tags: fame, money, paris hilton, Sex