Moonage Webdream

Technorati Tags: art, england, lynndie, lynndied

Saw this on collegehumor:

Actually, according to one source, it was on wtvu.  I hope this is real! But, I’m sorta doubtful it is.  If anyone has any further on this, I’d appreciate it.

Technorati Tags: altamont pass, collegehumor, homeowner, mike litoris, new have, wtvu

This political season has taken on the apperaance of a full blown episode of Monty Python.  That’s a good thing.  McCain is not running at this time, and Obama is intent on debating himself in front of the entire nation.  Somehow, if McCain showed up, I don’t think it would make much difference as far as Obama is concerned.  Joe Biden is working himself to death to get kicked out as Obama’s running mate, often criticizing his candidate.  And, of course, there’s the rest of the story.  The media is working themselves feverishly trying to make Sarah Palin look like a lunatic.  Today’s round goes something like this:

That’s her a few years ago getting blessed by a Reverend Muthee against witchcraft.  Now, as usual, this is going to blow up in the media’s faces as far as embarassing the candidate goes.  I say this because her personna is that she is just like us.  She’s not an elitist lawyer from Harvard who has Barbara Streisand sing to her for $28,000 a pop.  She’s an ordinary every-day run-of-the-mill ex-high-school-pageant-queen who sorta accidentally ran for the local PTA and wound up as governor of Alaska.  Some of us can relate to that, we’ve often wound up places we really didn’t intend to be.  And, best I can tell, quite a few of us have had to be blessed from witchcraft.

What’s that?   Smoky wavy lines obscuring everything again?  Uh oh, here I go:

When I was just out of high school, I hooked up with some, let’s say, fascinating babes.  One particular had everything going for her any red blooded American 19 year old would desire in a babe.  She had boobs.  She had blonde hair.  She had long legs.  And, for the most part, she couldn’t remember your name the next day.  At nineteen, that was perfect.  I won’t go any to any further details of what was great about her, this is kind of a family oriented place.  But, nah, better not go there.  You know what I’m getting at.

However, after a period of time, probably a couple of weeks, things started to go bad.  We were cruising around town one night and the conversation somehow devolved to the point that we were discussing whether or not we should break up ( in manspeak, whether I could leave her ).  It went on in the usual elder-teen manner with me basically stating how easy it would be.  As we were nearing McDonald’s, she uttered something I just could not understand.  Given my horrid hearing, I figured it was just me.  It really sounded she was choking on something like water.  It wasn’t human language.  So, I asked her to repeat what she had said a little louder, which she did.  It still didn’t make any sense.  So, I asked her in my most proper Kentucky diction something to the effect of “what was that?”.  She then informed me that it was an ancient Wiccan spell assuring that I could never leave her.  She was quite pleased.  I was quite amused. I suggested we test this spell.  So, we drove in to McDonald’s, I sent her inside to get some food, and drove off.  I never saw again.  At this point, I was quite pleased.  I doubt she was amused tho.

I related this tale to a couple of my college buddies with great glee and laughing.  However, they were concerned.  They truly felt I was taking this witchcraft stuff too lightly.  They did some research, and found a good witch near their hometown in the dark backwoods of Tennessee and suggested we go visit.  I wasn’t too gung-ho on this idea.  However, there was a liquor store about a mile or two from her house and they promised to make a stop.  That sealed it.

It was a dark and rainy night when we arrived at the good witch’s house.  Now, I immediately grew concerned because the bad witch was a smokin-hot blonde babe and the good witch was this middle-aged fat woman that looked kinda scary.  She had her whole house looking like a witch’s lair.  The beer was NOT helping with the situation either.  I was feeling kinda hesitant about the whole thing so my friend explained to her what had happened.  Since I had no clue what it was the bad witch had said, she had to ponder what it might have been.  Basically, in her mind, it was some type of captivity spell.  Sounded good to me.  Whether it was or not, I didn’t want to be captive to anything at nineteen.  So, we shelled out about $50, sat down, she blew some kind of smoke in my face, shook my hands till they hurt, and uttered something a lot like what it was the smokin-hot bad witch had said.  She closed her eyes, shook a little bit, and smiled and seemed quite pleased with herself.  She felt the hex had been removed.  My friends were pleased, I was ready to leave.  I don’t think we even stopped to get more beer on the way home.

When it was all said and done and I had a day or two to ponder it all more deeply, I came to the conclusion that I felt exactly the same as I did before the smokin-hot bad witch hex, and no different after the butt-ugly good witch’s counter-hex. 

My life has since had it’s usual ups and downs.  I’ve done a lot of things I regret now that I’m older and calmer.  Two things I’m sure of at this point:

1. There is no such thing as witchcraft ( the magic part of it anyway ).
2. Only trust the butt ugly witches.

I will add that Sarah Palin’s method of getting blessed against witchcraft makes for a lot less headlines than if she had gone the traditional route as I did.

Technorati Tags: barbara streisand, governor of alaska, joe biden, long legs, mccain, monty-python, obama, pageant queen, running mate, sarah palin, witchcraft

I love really stupid headlines.  Today Fox had another one on the main page:

Clay: I’m Gay

Now, raise your hands:

Technorati Tags: Clay-Aiken, gay, poll

Moonlet started kindergarten this year.  I was kinda worried that he would suddenly become retarded or something.  Very quickly my concerns were soothed.  He spells constantly now.  I mean, as in non-stop, all-day.  Nothing is beyond spelling.  When there is nothing to spell, we make up words and spell them.  This has even spilled over into bigger issues in the world. 

Younger people are lower-case, then, they become upper-case.

I am SO PROUD!

Technorati Tags: kindergarten, Parenting, spelling

Took Moonlet to see Igor yesterday.  Now, we’ve got two cinemas in town.  One’s pretty new and OK, the other one’s a dump.  We had gone to ride the Big South Fork Scenic Railway again, so I drove about thirty minutes to another town to watch it in their big nice cinema since this one was on at the dump.

It really felt like a wasted trip.  Other than spending some quality time with the boy, the movie was disappointing.  It just never seemed to click.  It seemed confused.  It’s definitely a cartoon, with cute little people and animals and robots ( sorta ), but then it tosses in enough gore and violence to merit it a PG rating.  A lot of the humor is based on violence and gore.  I just didn’t feel like it was appropriate for a five year old.  According to the rating, it’s not.  However, I am a guy who took his five year old to Tropic Thunder and felt fine about that.  And, I’m quite certain he enjoyed it more as well.

I’m not going to spoil the movie though. There’s no point in it.  It just basically ends.

The only thing I would admit to half-way enjoying was the over-sized and over-obvious boobs on the Nordic babe ( which turns out not to be what you think she is, of course ).

Bottom line, no thumbs for any age group.  It’s too childish to be fun for adults, and too adult to be fun for small kids.

Technorati Tags: cartoon, gore, igor, movie review, tropic thunder, violence

This story has me so stumped I can’t even come up with a witty title.

It goes like this.

Terri Hughes worked for Playboy.  Now, granted, it was the Playboy Radio show called “Night Calls“.  Now, if you click on that link to the Night Calls preview site, you’ll get nothing but nude women.

I mean, nothing BUT nude women.

The show itself was about sex.  In other words, porn stars talking about sex, acting out sex, having sex.

The show was about only one thing.  Sex.  It featured porn stars.

Am I making myself perfectly clear here?

I hope so.

Miss Hughes, who was a producer for said sex show, now claims she was harmed by being around all the sex.

I don’t doubt that she was.  I couldn’t imagine anything more awful than watching professional porn stars doing what they do best.  Must have been hell.

However, the problem I have is she worked for PLAYBOY.

What did she expect?

She then goes on to say that her boss didn’t want a Negro show when she wanted to team up with another black lady.

Now, that is what is called bona fide job qualification.  In no other occupation is skin color actually more of an issue than porn.  I mean that sincerely.  For those who enjoy porn, they get very picky.  It’s not a racial thing.  Just as quickly someone will discriminate against someone for being too dark, they’ll discriminate about being too skinny, wrong hair style, tattoos in the wrong place, piercings, boob size and location, you name it.  Sex is where the line is drawn in a major way when it comes to discriminating tastes.  Go look at the titles of a few movies if you want.  Racism, sexism, perversion, drug use, hell, they even smoke cigarettes sometimes.  That’s what porn’s all about.  Shock value and pandering to the most primal human urge.

Somehow, Terri Hughes never apparently knew that.  So, imagine her shock, I’m sure, when they casted for a “teen-looking petite blonde”, and she shows up to audition.  How would YOU have explained it?  Probably not the way this person supposedly did.  But the gyst would have been about the same.  There’s just no way to avoid it.

Then, I’m sure the straw that broke the camel’s back was when she autitioned for “Midgets Doing Naughty Carnival Shows” and was told she was too tall.

Technorati Tags: christy canyon, cigarettes, drug use, hair style, nude women, perversion, playboy, professional porn stars, pron, sex show, shock value, skin color, talking about sex, tattoos, terri hughes

Well, if you’re a Bengal fan, almost any year.  However, the clue here is it’s Monday night.  Dallas has scored more points in the first half of their game than the Bengals have all year.

And they’re losing.

Technorati Tags: bengals, Cincinnati, cowboys, Dallas, eagles, football, nfl, philadelphia

This is just freaky cool:

Amazing 3D Chalk Art

There’s a whole lot more by Julian Beever and others at the link in the pic.  Definite must see!

Technorati Tags: art, chalk, julian-beever

A gal going by the pseudo of “Natalie Dylan” is auctioning off her virginity to the highest bidder.  Now, she’s thought this out pretty well by doing it at a brothel.  This should help some as she might need some tutoring.

Now, for some people, having absolutely no experience in sex means something.  It really doesn’t for me.  I really prefer someone who knows how to get the job done.  I still remember a long time ago ( a difference century, a different universe ), and struggling with a couple of virgins.  Needless to say, I wasn’t much more than one myself.  It really isn’t an experience I dwell on to say the least.  To now be offered the chance to go to a brothel of sex professionals and relive my teen years instead isn’t really that much of a bait for me.  Now, if she looks like that in ten years or so, THEN auction her services at a brothel and I’ll be a little more interested.  Of course, I’m sure Mrs. Moon will probably stomp all over that interest.  Sure, Pavlov led me to this story, just as the posters intended.  However, in this case, Pavlov is telling me I’ve got a lot more experience waiting for me at home.  This is the very rare case where Pavlov is trumping the obvious.

Technorati Tags: brothel, dylan, natalie, pavlov, virginity, virgins