Yesterday Moonlet reached an important milestone in my book. Always loving the water, it was sort of a key point to me that he learn how to swim and enjoy the water as much as I have. For several years we took all the baby steps to getting there. Playing in baby pools, playing in wave pools, throwing him in the lake ( hush y’all, he had a life jacket on ). He had been swimming under water in very shallow pools, but pretty much refused to get in deep water. So, yesterday we decided to go hang out with some friends, who have a pool. Imagine my shock and awe when we got there, he ran straight to the diving board and did this:
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Now, it’s not so much that he did it once or so, he did this non-stop for hours. He jumped off the board, he swam under water, he even swam above water a little. He just basically did everything there was to do.
Now today, my back is hurting so bad I can’t hardly stand up. However, I am one proud papa!
Last night we went to see Walle. We actually had a little more fun than usual and went to the drive-in to see it. It was a curious movie. They do an excellent job of building personalities around what should be emotionless non-personal things such as a garbage collecting bot and a bot that incenerates whatever distracts it. If you have small kids, this is a must-see. If you don’t have small kids, borrow a couple, it’s worth seeing one time for sure.
However, the message I left with after seeing the movie perplexed me. Basically, if you boil it down to its simplest message, it suggests that if man destroys Earth, all we have to do is take a 700 year vacation and Earth will fix itself. Not really the message I expected from Hollywood. Other than that muddled political message, it’s a very entertaining film and I imagine me and the boy will go see it again. Three thumbs up!
The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are this year’s winners. Read them carefully. Each is an actual word with only one letter altered to form a new word. Some are terrifically innovative:
Intaxication : Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
Reintarnation : Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.
Giraffiti : Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
Sarchasm : The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
Inoculatte : To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
Hipatitis : Terminal coolness.
Osteopornosis : A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
Karmageddon : It’s like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it’s, like, a serious bummer.
Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
Glibido: All talk and no action.
Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider’s web
Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.
Ignoranus : A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.
Now, my challenge for the rest of us, how many of the words do you know in the first place?
“The only truly pleasurable thing you can do that is still free is sneezing.”
— Paul Burton
I thought that was a true epiphany. And, although I try to argue every point, on this one, I could not. I can think of one other thing, but depending on where you do it, it could get expensive.
Took most of the Moon family to see Get Smart today.
For the most part, I liked. I liked it a lot. In fact, given some of the reviews I’ve read, I should be embarassed by how much I liked it. It was almost all upbeat with no extensive drawn-out scenes. That made for fun not for adults, but didn’t lose the five year old boy. It had airplanes, trains, and lots of things that went boom. And, to top it off, it had this as well:
I probably liked that part more than I should have. One of the main gripes I heard about Get Smart going in was it violated the sanctity of the original series by allowing 86 and 99 to get too close. Well, for those of us who actually watched Get Smart faithfully ( in my case, mostly through re-runs ), you KNEW what was going on:
In the movie, they even say it’s supposed to be a secret, but everyone knew anyway. There were a LOT of homages to the series, I appreciate it when they do that. The movies would never have existed if the series’ hadn’t set the stage. So, when a movie totally disregards the basis for why it exists, I get annoyed. That didn’t happen here. Steve Carrell I think stuck very closely to Don Adams. Anne Hathaway was dead-on Barbara Feldon. And, oddly enough, Alan Arkin was the PERFECT choice to be the chief. Honestly, the only flaw I had with this movie was they sometimes resorted to that shaky unsteady film method that I absolutely despise. It’s distracting and serves no purpose at all. Hate it. Hate, hate, hate it!
Other than that, this movie is a definite three thumbs up!
Supposedly it’s Jessica’s jab at Carrie Underwood, former girlfriend of Jessica’s current boyfriend. Apparently she got tired of hearing what a wonderful vegetarian Carrie is. PETA is not amused. They therefore dug as deep inside their souls as possible and put together the wittiest reply they could. Here’s a synopsis:
Meat increases the risk of breast cancer
Real girls don’t support animal abuse
The meat industry is destroying the Earth
Meat will make you fat
Eating meat steals food from starving kids
Are those PETA peeps a riot or what?
Now, personally, I won’t hang out with a babe who refuses to eat meat. I want a babe open to anything. If she wants meat, she’ll eat it. If she wants hers without meat, she’ll do it. That to me, is a REAL girl. PETA’s stance on no meat at any time just leaves me, well, hanging. I love my meat. I like it when I’m with someone who appreciates meat equally, sometimes even complimenting the meat. I mean, complimenting a slice of bread just doesn’t strike me as being too exciting.
Now, the sheer brilliance of this insight is further magnified because we are talking about Britney here. Which reminds me, I haven’t posted a pic of her lately:
Of course, in order to get men to read it, they ran this pic:
Naturally, I came runnin to the story. The gyst is Bram Van Den Bergh of Katholieke Universiteit Leuven in Belgium has figured out that when viewing ads and stuff of women in bikinis, men worried less about the future and went for immediate gratification. In real life, when men touched a bra or something sexy, all consideration for the future vanished and men went for that same instant gratification.
I have been writing about that for years. It’s called Pavlov’s Dog. Every man has known this since Adam tasted Eve’s wet, juicy, apple. How do people get money to do these “researches”?
Most of the family took in Kung Fu Panda over the weekend. It’s safe. Very safe. However, it was kinda fun. There is nothing particularly unusual, or memorable, about this movie two or three days after I’ve seen it. However, the Moonlet liked it, and I didn’t fall asleep. That’s two thumbs up for me.
Back in the old days, music was a lot more fun. Censorship still lasted probably sort of into the late 70’s or so, so people had to work around the obvious. The result then was sometimes you really didn’t know if a song was supposed to be creepy or not. Nowadays, they just blurt it out. You’d have to be pretty much deaf dumb and blind not to figure out a song is supposed to be creepy, freaky, or what.
Now, some bands pushed the edge of censorship by being very graphic, but not using any of the sinful words. Some bands pushed the edge by not making much sense at all, but left it to the imagination of the listener. Other bands, in my opinion, didn’t even know they were creepy, freaky, or whatever. They wrote what they felt. What they felt, deep down in their hearts apparently, was just creepy. Here’s five examples that I bet a lot of people never thought much about, but if you dig just a teensy weensy bit, it just doesn’t seem quite right to me:
By 1980, The Who, and by default, Pete Townshend, were no longer the leading edge of The British Invasion or a symbol of youthful rebellion. By this time, Pete was 35 years old. The Who was pretty much fading away, so Pete came out with one of his solo albums. The feature song on that album was a song called “Rough Boys”.
Note the lyrics:
Tough Boys, Running the streets, Come a little closer
Rough toys, Under the sheets, Nobody knows her
Rough boys, Don’t walk away, I very nearly missed you
Tough boys, Come over here, I wanna bite and kiss you
I wanna see what I can find
Tough kids, Take a bottle of wine, When your deal is broken
Ten quid, She’s so easy to find, Not a word is spoken
Rough boys, Don’t walk away, I’m still pretty blissed here
Tough boy, I’m gonna carry you home, You got pretty pissed dear
Gonna get inside you
Gonna get inside your bitter mind
Rough boys, Don’t walk away, I wanna buy you leather
Make noise, Try and talk me away, We can’t be seen together
Tough kids, What can I do?, I’m so pale and weedy
Rough fits, In my Hush Puppy shoes, But I’m still pleading
Tough boys, Running the streets, Come a little closer
Rough toys, Under the sheets, Nobody knows her
Rough boys, Don’t walk away, I very nearly missed you Tough boys, Come over here, I wanna bite and kiss you
I wanna see what I can find!
Now, that can be interpreted a couple of different ways. But, one of those ways is just plum creepy. In 2003, Pete was “cautioned” for cruising child porn sites.
In 1983 The Police released “Every Breath You Take”. It was a monster hit. Now, I bet when thinking of The Police, you’d think “Don’t Stand So Close To Me”. Creepy topic, but handled well. “Every Breath You Take” on the other hand wasn’t so overtly obvious:
Think again about the lyrics to “Every Breath You Take”:
Every breath you take
Every move you make
Every bond you break
Every step you take
I’ll be watching you
Every single day
Every word you say
Every game you play
Every night you stay
I’ll be watching you
O can’t you see
You belong to me
How my poor heart aches with every step you take
Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
I’ll be watching you
Since you’ve gone I been lost without a trace
I dream at night I can only see your face
I look around but it’s you I can’t replace
I keep crying baby please
Every move you make
Every vow you break
Every smile you fake
Every claim you stake
I’ll be watching you
Sounds like a stalker to me. Someone sings that to me, I’d have a restraining order issued. And, it would be easy to get.
Now we’re getting into the meat of some songs I truly have loved for a LONG time. These are in a class by themselves for me personally.
In 1972 a band exploded on the US scene. Being long before MTV, the only real exposure I had to them was LP’s and the usual teen mags. As such, by listening to them, I had to assume they were part of the British invasion. The Raspberries hit 1972 through 1974 or so with a slew of hits. No party was thrown without playing at least two of their songs. Especially if you weren’t old enough to drink. One of those songs was “I wanna be with you”.
Here’s the lyrics:
If we were older, We wouldn’t have to be worried tonight
Baby oh, I wanna be with you
So bad, (yes, I wanna be with you)
Oh, darlin (oh, I wanna be with you)
Oh yeah (yeah, I wanna be with you)
Well tonight’s (tonight) the night
We always knew it would feel so right
So come on baby, I just wanna be with you
Someday’s a long time, And we’ve been waiting so long to be here
Hold me tight
Our love could live forever after tonight
If you believe that what we’re doing is right
Close your eyes and be still
Now, “if we were older”, Eric Carmen was 23 or so when he sang this. In order to “not worry about tonight”, his date would have to be about 15 in most states. Sounds statuatory to me. “Close your eyes and be still” sounds a lot more like rape than love to me. Then, to top it off, that heavy British accent you hear? They’re from CLEVELAND. Their creepiness wasn’t always so subtle tho, their biggest hit “Go All The Way”, was banned in, you guessed it, England. Guess they didn’t appreciate Buckeyes faking it too much either.
In 1975 the Bee Gees were pretty much considered has-beens. They had knocked off some great hits in the 60’s, but were largely forgotten by 1974. Then, in 1975, they released possibly my favorite Bee Gees tune, “Nights On Broadway”.
However, I always got a kick out of the lyrics:
Here we are, In a room full of strangers
Standing in the dark Where your eyes couldn’t see me
Well, I had to follow you
Though you did not want me to
But that won’t stop my lovin’ you
I can’t stay away
Blamin’ it all on the nights on Broadway
Singin’ them love songs
Singin’ them “straight to the heart” songs
Blamin’ it all on the nights on Broadway
Singin’ them sweet sounds
To that crazy, crazy town
Now in my place, There are so many others
Standin’ in the line, How long will they stand between us
Well, I had to follow you
Though you did not want me to
But that won’t stop my lovin’ you
I can’t stay away
Blamin’ it all (blamin’ it all)
On the nights on Broadway (blame it on the nights on Broadway)
Singin’ them love songs
Singin’ them “straight to the heart” songs
Blamin’ it all (I’m blamin’ it all)
On the nights on Broadway (blame it on the nights on Broadway)
Singin’ them sweet sounds
To that crazy, crazy town (blamin’ it in on those nights)
I will wait
Even if it takes forever
I will wait
Even if it takes a lifetime
Somehow I feel inside
You never-ever left my side
Make it like it was before
Even if it takes a lifetime, takes a lifetime, ooh
Blamin’ it all (blamin’ it all)
On the nights on Broadway (blame it on the nights on Broadway)
Singin’ them love songs (yeah, yeah)
Singin’ them “straight to the heart” songs (yeah, blamin’ it all)
Blamin’ it all (blamin’ it all)
On the nights on Broadway (blame it on the nights on Broadway)
Singin’ them sweet sounds (oh yeah)
To that crazy, crazy town (yeah)
Once again, sounds a lot like an obsessed stalker. Three brothers dancing around in spandex pants and singing falsetto didn’t help dim the creep factor much either. When it came out, I loved it. When I realized it signaled the birth of disco, I had to listen to it quietly, alone. That just deepened the creepiness for me. Now that disco is dead, I blare it as loudly as I can. Since no one under the age of 40 understands subtle nuance in lyrics, they just don’t get how creepy the Bee Gees were compared to goofy acts like Korn who have to scream it in order someone doesn’t get it.
And, last on this list for tonight, but certainly not the end of the list, is a song from 1978. I was sixteen at the time, older guys hitting on girls I went to school with creeped me out then. So, imagine my angst when “Hot Child in the City” hit #1:
Danger in shape of something wild
stranger dressed in black she’s a hungry child
No one knows who she is or what name is
I don’t know where she came from or what her game is
Hot child in the city
hot child in the city
running wild and looking pretty
hot child in the city
so young to be loose and on her own
young boys, they all want to take her home
she goes downtown and the boys all stop and stair
when she goes downtown she walks like she just don’t care
Hot child in the city
hot child in the city
running wild and looking pretty
hot child in the city
Come on down to my place baby
we’ll talk about love
come on down to my place woman
we’ll make love
Hot child in the city
hot child in the city
she’d kinda dangerous
hot child in the city
young child
running wld and looking pretty
young child, running wild
hot child in the city(x3)
Hot child in the city
OK, so you got this 27 year old hitting on “hot child”ren. Now, the extra creep factor is in order to get these lyrics, I had to steal them from a listing for Pat Benatar. If you want, you can watch a video creation on youtube of Pat Benatar’s Hot Child in the City. Only problem is, that’s Nick Gilder. A guy. He just sounded a lot like a girl. And, he wasn’t the most masculine looking dude either:
This is most likely just a start. There were plenty others that I just didn’t feel like listening to tonight. It sure is a lot more fun figuring out the hidden creepiness of a song than just having it thrown in your face. The constant barrage of intentional commercial creepiness that is so pervasive in today’s music really makes me think censorship was a good thing.
. Other than that muddled political message, it’s a very entertaining film and I imagine me and the boy will go see it again. Three thumbs up!
today.
by allowing 86 and 99 to get too close. Well, for those of us who actually watched Get Smart faithfully ( in my case, mostly through re-runs ), you KNEW what was going on:
over the weekend. It’s safe. Very safe. However, it was kinda fun. There is nothing particularly unusual, or memorable, about this movie two or three days after I’ve seen it. However, the Moonlet liked it, and I didn’t fall asleep. That’s two thumbs up for me.