Moonage Webdream

Brothels in Australia are offering discounts on gas if you want to use their service as well.  It’s like this, you fill up your tank, take your receipt to the brothel, and they give you a discount based on how much gas you got.

This is a BAD idea.  I can see guys all over Australia using up their gas for no real reason if they get horny.  Wives all over Australia will now have to burn their receipts when they fill up, adding to Global Warming.  I can even see a black market demand arising for gas receipts.

This is why, this is apparently what some brothels have to offer down under:

Now, Mrs. Moon better watch out whenever I fill ‘er up!  Damn you, Australia!

Technorati Tags: Pavlov's Dog

"Like so many Americans, she was trying to construct a life that made sense from things she found in gift shops." - Kurt Vonnegut

I think that’s true for a LOT of people these days.

Technorati Tags: Quote of the Day

That thing is so vile the NCAA has seen fit to ban it from games for a while.  First, in 2005, the tree blew a .156 DURING a game ( imagine that, a college student drinking during a game! ).  Then, the silly fir(?) was caught dancing in the wrong place.  That was more than the NCAA could handle.

“The committee was very disappointed in this disturbing pattern of behavior and strongly believes that these acts compromised the integrity of the championship,” said Joni Comstock, the committee chair and the athletic director at American University.

John, college sports has never been about integrity when it comes to the fans.  They are supposed to act stupid and loud and support the team.  Collegiate integrity is what is expected in the classroom.  During ballgames, it’s not.  Now, getting drunk to the point of possibly falling over during a game is a bad thing, but getting slightly less drunk doesn’t mean that said person has a little more integrity.  What’s really dumb about this to me is from what I can find, the Tree isn’t even the actual official mascot for Stanford.  It’s the Cardinal.

What is it with this fixation the NCAA has on mascots lately?

My take?  The NCAA banned that tree because it’s so darned UGLY!  It HAS to be offensive to all the other trees.  And we all know, in this day and age, the NCAA is scared to death that anyone might be offended by a bunch of drunk college kids having fun.

Technorati Tags: Sports

A horrible accident occurred today near my hometown today. Comair flight 5191 crashed taking off from Bluegrass Airport.  49 of the 50 people aboard died.  No names have been released as of this time, but a lot of friends and family of mine use that airport frequently.  I know my family’s safe, but still waiting to see if anyone I knew was on it.  A friend of might be assisting in the identification of the bodies.  I fly out of there occasionally myself.  This is kind of a bummer.

But, what is striking me as almost surreal is that the reason the plane crashed is because it took off the wrong runway.  The runway it took off of is a very short runway for small aircraft.  It’s not lit, and it’s very short heading straight into a rolling hill.  Now, I would have assumed it being a dark runway would have alerted the crew that something was amiss, as it was rainy and foggy this morning.  But, where I fall short of trying of actually pointing any fingers is because of another incident that I remembered quite well, as I witnessed it when it happened.

From the NTSB reports page:

……SHORTLY AFTER RECEIVING APCH CLEARANCE, THE CREW SPOTTED AN ARPT WITH RUNWAY LIGHTS ON, ENTERED THE TRAFFIC PATTERN AND LANDED. THEY WERE SEVENTEEN NM FROM THEIR SCHEDULED DEST.

On July 7, 1987, a 737 heading for Lexington landed in Frankfort, KY.  This is a SMALL airport for small aircraft.  I still remember they had to put that airplane on a truck and haul it to Bluegrass.  The strip in Frankfort is way too small to take off on.  So, using the wrong strip is not unprecedented in Lexington.  Fortunately, in 1987, no one was hurt.  This time wasn’t so lucky.

What’s even scarier, Third Amendment has a LONG list of planes landing at the wrong place.  All of this just leads me to wonder what actually goes on in a control tower.  The thing about Bluegrass is it’s a small airport.  It really only has two strips.  One is huge, the other not.  They should have been able to see where 5191 was.  I’m sure all the answers will come out fairly soon on this one.  I’m not sure I really want to know the answer tho.  I might have to fly out of there again.

Technorati Tags: Current Affairs

Forbes Magazine studies all kinds of very important stuff. Recently they took on the very important topic of which cities in the US drank the most. Without further ado, here they are:

1. Milwaukee
2. Minneapolis-St. Paul
3. Columbus, Ohio
4. Boston
5. Austin
6. Chicago
7. Cleveland
8. Pittsburgh
9. Philadelphia
10. Providence
11. St. Louis
12. San Antonio
13. Seattle
14. Las Vegas
15. Denver/Boulder
16. Cincinnati
17. Kansas City
18. Houston
19. Portland
20. San Francisco / Oakland
21. Washington DC/Baltimore
22. Phoenix
23. Los Angeles
24. New Orleans
25. Tampa
26. Norfolk
27. Dallas / Fft. Worth
28. Atlanta
29. Detroit
30. Indianapolis
31. Orlando
32. New York
33. Miami
34. Charlotte
35. Nashville

Now, what this comes out to, is by region:

Although the Southeast apparently drinks some just about everywhere, the Midwest apparently just stays drunk.  And, if you’re looking for a big time, apparently the Northeast is a place to be avoided ( only five cities in the entire region made the list? ).  I’ve been to a few of these cities.  As far as visiting goes, the Southeast gets my vote for the drinkingest place to be.  New Orleans, Nashville, Dallas, are just scary fun places to party.  Dead last for me is the Midwest.  They drink for sure, but it just doesn’t seem to have the "fun" aspect to it.  My experience in the Northeast is more that people like to look at each other than drink to excess.  The West, well, let’s just say the South is the best.  But for my list, New Orleans would be #1, Nashville #2, Tampa #3, Dallas/Ft. Worth #4, and Orlando #5.

If anyone has recommendations as to where I should go to get their city of choice higher on my list, I’ll be more than happy to reconsider!

Technorati Tags: Hmmmmm

Just something to start your day off pleasantly….

"Paradise is exactly like where you are right now… only much, much better. "

- Laurie Anderson

Technorati Tags: Quote of the Day

Worst kept secret on the internet, wanna guess what this is?

If you guessed Palm Island, Dubai, you guessed right! ( And, you have very little imagination. )  Someone has a major fixation over there.  Anyone else think it’s kinda weird that when Michael Jackson fled molestation charges, he headed for the biggest dick on the planet? ( Who said those Muslims don’t have a sense of humor? Palm, dick, get it? )

Technorati Tags: dubai, Hmmmmm, palm-island, pavlov, Pavlov's Dog

“I, like, cry, when I listen to it, it’s so good.” - Paris Hilton

I’m sure a lot of people do as well.  But, I’m gonna bet it’s not for the same reason.

Honestly, when this first came out, I was wondering which stars she was referring to.  Like, I think Charlie Sheen would be the most blind.   Alas, I had gone too deep.  That’s not what she was crying about.

I don’t mind spending some time
Just hanging here with you
Cuz I don’t find too many guys
That treat me like you do
Those other guys all wanna take me for a ride
But when I walk their talk is suicide
Some people never get beyond their stupid pride
But you can see the real me inside
And I’m satisfied, oh no, ohhEven though the gods are crazy
Even though the stars are blind
If you show me real love baby
I’ll show you mineI can make you nice and naughty
Be the devil and angel too
Got a heart and soul and body
Let’s see what this love can do
Baby i’m perfect for you

My love, ohh oh

I could be your confidante
Just one of your girlfriends
But I know that love’s what you want
If tomorrow the world ends
Why shouldn’t we be with the one we really love?
Now tell me who have you been dreaming of
At night at home? oh no, ohh

Even though the gods are crazy
Even though the stars are blind
If you show me real love baby
I’ll show you mine

I can make you nice and naughty
Be the devil and angel too
Got a heart and soul and body
Let’s see what this love can do
Baby i’m perfect for you

Excuse me for feeling
This moment is critical
Might be me feeling
It could get physical, oh no, no no

Even though the gods are crazy
Even though the stars are blind
If you show me real love baby
I’ll show you mine

I can make you nice and naughty
Be the devil and angel too
Got a heart and soul and body
Let’s see what this love can do
Let’s see what this love can do
Baby I’m perfect for you

Baby I’m perfect for you

Even though the gods are crazy

Even though the stars are blind

Even though the gods are crazy

Even though the stars are blind

Honestly, from what I’ve seen and heard, she needs to stick with doin it on camera instead of singing about doing it on camera.  I’ve kept my eye on her career, there is ONE thing she seems to be really good at.  And music’s not it.

Technorati Tags: Music, paris hilton

I love this because it’s SOOOOO true!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.
2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
3. Sunday sports It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
4. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
5. Crying is blackmail.
6. Ask for what you want.  Let us be clear on this one:  Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
7. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
8. Come to us with a problem onlyif you want help solving it. That’s what we do.
   Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
9. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. See a doctor.
10. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
11. If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t Expect us to act like soap opera guys.
12. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.  Don’t ask us.
13. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .
14. You can either ask us to do something.  Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
15. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
16. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
17. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.  Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
18. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
19. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing’s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
20. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
21. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine…Really.
22. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.
23. You have enough clothes.
24. You have too many shoes.
25. I am in shape.  Round IS a shape!

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;  But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

Technorati Tags: Humor