In this day when all you hear about are sports figures flaming out in major meltdowns, and sometimes dropping dead, it’s cool to hear of someone doing something very smart. Willie Roaf has opted to retire from the NFL to, get this, go back to school and finish his sociology degree.
Very cool, Willie. Very cool. Not too many people I’ve seen playing in the NFL would walk away from $2.1 million to hope for one the lowest paying professions in the US.
This shocking headline has made the rounds in EVERY major media:
This is so not a story I’m guessing it’s purely a paid promotional item. I mean, first of all:
Any male that looks like Lance ( on the left ) pushing 30 is suspect. Any guy looking like Joey ( on the right ), is not. So, telling me a guy that pretty is gay just doesn’t surprise me in the least bit.
Second, he has never been tied to a babe. Take a look at this Q&A on a board. Wouldn’t mean much to me now other than the question was asked in 2001. To a lot of people, this is very old news.
Third, he was in a boy band. Based on my experience as a former teenage redneck forced to deal with boy bands in order to strike up mindless unfulfilling chatter with babes ( read potential makeout sessions ), he was gay from that point on. When guys realize they are not gay, boy bands disintegrate. Lance was holding on to the thought that NSync would continue to thrive as they approached 30. That meant he had to be gay.
Fourthly, who cares? Why are we constantly dumped this totally meaningless garbage by the media? I mean, sure, Lance needed some PR in the worst way right now, but why does media feel compelled to go along with it? I mean, everyone’s prettty much assumed he was gay since he reached puberty, all the media is telling us right now is they were the last to figure it out. The media not having a clue is certainly not news.
Got a car you’re not too pleased with or rather suspicious of the quality? Check out the Office of Defects Investigation to see all the recalls for your car. It’s actually saved me money. Very handy page to have at your fingertips.
I had always sort of noticed that a LOT of ex-football players seemed to meet horrendous fates upon retirement. However, according to this story, their suicide rate is SIX times the national average. That’s JUST suicide. Many have been convicted of serious crimes ( see OJ among others ). Even if not put in prison, many others have experienced noted domestic problems. The story mentions several possibilities, including steroids. I think the problem is deeper than that for football. Football, moreso than any other sport, is violent in a controlled manner. On the front line, it’s man against man most often using brute strength and not much more. Down the field the defensive ends, if they can’t stop a completed pass, do what they can to seperate the ball from the receiver, read hit them as violently as possible. The quarterbacks are usually unprotected against much larger linemen who pummel them to the ground often blindsighted. It’s a tough, tough, game. Many of the best pro players spend their entire lives focusing on how to be the best, read most violent, player they can be. Then, after a lifetime of total mayhem and pushing their bodies to the limit, it all stops. I can see this being similar to the myriad post combat syndromes that have been studied in depth. Although there have been some efforts to help players deal with it, like gameover.org, I haven’t been made aware of a major effort to deal with it. If the case is true that the NFL doesn’t make any serious effort to transition football players into post-football lives, that’s a pretty serioues oversite that needs to be addressed now. A lot of these players have sacrificed their mind and body for our entertainment. And, because of that, a lot of them have tons of resources to contribute to society. I think focusing them on a post-football "career" would be better for them, and, better for the world as well. That won’t solve all the deaths, but I think it would address the suicide factor substantially.
Got this via email. Don’t know how accurate it is, don’t care. It’s just funny!
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD: I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "too many deer were being hit by cars" and he didn’t want them to cross there anymore. This one was from Kingman, KS.
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg. And he was a Kansas City chef!
IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge? To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know? He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That’s why we ask." Happened in Birmingham, Ala.
IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it’s safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!" She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS
IDIOT SIGHTING: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.
IDIOT SIGHTING: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn’t understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff’s office no less.
IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver’s side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it’s open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side." This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi!
*they walk among us and REPRODUCE.
Scary, isn’t it.
You are traveling in a mini-car at a constant speed. On your left side is a double decker bus and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you.
In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a dragon flying at ground level.
Both the giant pig and the dragon are also traveling at the same speed as you.
What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
Set your mouse over this link for the answer.
I have always loved music. I post on music a lot here. I started with classical piano training when I was a little kid. However, my improvising on Bach’s Jesu Joy of Man’s Desire got me tossed from piano lessons. Once old enough, I played in the school band. I played trombone, sousaphone, tuba, French horn, baritone, trumpet, or whatever they handed me to play at the time. It didn’t matter to me, it was the music. About that time PC’s were being introduced to the world. One of the first leaps of technology PC’s took was in the area of music. Although it was an expensive and frustrating effort, making and working with MIDI’s caught my attention and I loved it. No longer was music production limited only to studio musicians. The average hack ( read me ), could make sounds like any orchestra or punk rock act. I liked to mix the two actually. I liked making music that you didn’t hear on the radio. Abba with heavy metal chords, Ted Nugent with synthesizers, Gary Numan with a distorted lead ( he got that from me, I swear. ). Mixing it up ( later called moshing ), was a blast to me. I made song after song after song, and collected thousands more. About ten years ago mixing software started appearing such as Cakewalk, that allowed a person to expand the sound of the instruments in such a way that not every single song sounded exactly like a cheap PC playing midi files. What you recorded was exactly what someone else would hear, unlike the wild variances midi offered. Plus, you could add distortion, feedback, echo, the whole works. They even included effects that vanished with the hair bands, flanging, which I love to this day. So, I became obsessed with converting those old midis, and some new ones, to faux musical instruments. The results fascinated me. A couple of years ago the next step occurred when several music hosting services went online such as Funender. I quickly jumped on that bandwagon as well. Today, there are over 17,000 people posting music on Funender alone. And, there are several other services as well. About a year ago it suddenly dawned on me that in the very near future, anyone could be a rock star. If just for one day. Today marked a milestone for me that I really never expected since I don’t take this stuff seriously. I broke the Top 25 of Funender based on 39,000 plays. Now, Billboard’s not featuring my name anywhere. Rolling Stone has yet to call as well. However, in my little fantasy world, I became a rock star. The guys I beat out to break the Top 25 were opening for Bon Jovi. I’m waiting for my call from David Bowie or U2. I’ve got certain expectations on how my fifteen minutes of fantasy fame are going to go. Will keep you all posted from the road!
( The internet is such a silly place! )
This has been sent to me so many times I feel compelled to post it. Besides, it’s funny!
Didn’t take long to get back on this category, but Mrs. Moon ( aka somesortamindo ), filled me in on some gossip. According to media, Carmen Electra is “going to” be single again. According to Mrs. Moon, that means she already is. Now, I can’t help but see the “irony” of the chain of events leading up to this breakup. Namely, she gets married in 2003. Then, does a video about doing babes with Joan Jett:
( It’s safe for work, but not particularly good. )
Then admits she’s had a crush on Joan since she reached puberty.
Then, gets naughty on Howard Stern with a male-substitute device. ( Not safe for work. )
THEN, decides to ditch the man in her life completely.
According to Mrs. Moon, the single men of America are probably chomping at the bit to see Carmen back in circulation. I’m not sure she’s any more available to single men than she was before.
Hamblin declined to state where exactly where the pipe was found.
A female member of the detention center staff conducted the search and retrieved the pipe, Hamblin said.
There are SO many angles to this. How did it get there? Was it consensual or coerced? Did her boyfriend know it was there or was she hiding it from him? If she was truly dealing, did she charge extra if you got it yourself or offer a discounted price? How long did the female member of the detention center take "retrieving" the pipe? Did they know each other before? Did the female member of the detention center have to pet her and say sweet-nothings in her ear before retrieval? Do they exchange emails to this day? When will we get to see the made-for-cable movie on Skinamax? I mean, that’s just the tip of the iceberg for all the questions I’ve got myself. I’m quite sure everyone else has even more.
( Note to kids, drugs are BAD! They make you do very stupid things. Obviously. )