Initially, the artist trying to convince me that a bottle of water was art was going to be my idiot of the day. However, his attempt became moot when:
Rather than musing on the hazards that will be created if the icecaps melt, the visitor is believed to have drunk the piece
So, I get two for the price of one.
Expanding on the Safest and Riskiest cities by things like terrorism, hurricanes, severe thunderstorms, and earthquakes, ranking the cities based on crime shows a different reality:
| Metropolitan Area | Sev. Thund | Hurricane | Quake | Terror | TOTAL | Crime |
| San Jose, CA | 1 | 1 | 3 | 1 | 6 | -16.87 |
| San Diego, CA | 1 | 1 | 2 | 2 | 6 | 7.46 |
| Austin, TX | 3 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 7 | 11.14 |
| San Antonio, TX | 2 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 6 | 24.64 |
| Riverside, CA | 1 | 1 | 3 | 1 | 6 | 27.66 |
| Raleigh-Durham, NC | 2 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 6 | 44.98 |
| New York, NY | 2 | 2 | 1 | 3 | 8 | 51.62 |
| Denver, CO | 3 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 7 | 51.74 |
| Norfolk, VA | 2 | 3 | 1 | 1 | 7 | 53.05 |
| San Francisco, CA | 1 | 1 | 3 | 3 | 8 | 59.92 |
| Pittsburgh, PA | 2 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 5 | 62.87 |
| Greensboro, NC | 2 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 6 | 73.23 |
| Fort Worth, TX | 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 6 | 73.29 |
| Orange County, CA | 1 | 1 | 3 | 1 | 6 | 76.68 |
| Los Angeles, CA | 1 | 1 | 3 | 2 | 7 | 76.88 |
| Grand Rapids, MI | 2 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 5 | 77.61 |
| Las Vegas, NV | 1 | 1 | 2 | 2 | 6 | 78.34 |
| Greenville, SC | 2 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 5 | 79.00 |
| Seattle, WA | 2 | 1 | 3 | 3 | 9 | 79.10 |
| Cincinnati, OH | 2 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 5 | 80.10 |
| Boston, MA | 2 | 2 | 1 | 3 | 8 | 81.67 |
| Jacksonville, FL | 2 | 3 | 1 | 1 | 7 | 86.17 |
| Salt Lake City, UT | 1 | 1 | 3 | 1 | 6 | 87.69 |
| Phoenix, AZ | 2 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 5 | 89.28 |
| Sacramento, CA | 1 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 4 | 91.08 |
| Louisville, KY | 2 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 5 | 91.83 |
| Houston, TX | 2 | 3 | 1 | 2 | 8 | 94.20 |
| Portland, OR | 2 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 6 | 99.36 |
| Charlotte, NC | 2 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 6 | 101.41 |
| Oklahoma City, OK | 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 6 | 102.10 |
| Buffalo, NY | 2 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 5 | 110.87 |
| Indianapolis, IN | 2 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 5 | 112.33 |
| Milwaukee, WI | 2 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 5 | 112.87 |
| Columbus, OH | 2 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 5 | 114.19 |
| Rochester, NY | 2 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 5 | 119.88 |
| Fort Lauderdale, FL | 2 | 3 | 1 | 1 | 7 | 130.31 |
| Hartford, CT | 2 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 6 | 131.44 |
| Nashville, TN | 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 6 | 159.19 |
| Philadelphia, PA | 2 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 6 | 163.62 |
| Cleveland, OH | 2 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 5 | 170.41 |
| Dallas, TX | 3 | 1 | 1 | 2 | 7 | 175.03 |
| Minneapolis-St. Paul, MN | 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 6 | 183.01 |
| Oakland, CA | 1 | 1 | 3 | 1 | 6 | 195.23 |
| Memphis, TN | 2 | 1 | 3 | 1 | 7 | 206.64 |
| Orlando, FL | 2 | 3 | 1 | 1 | 7 | 210.33 |
| Washington, DC | 2 | 1 | 1 | 3 | 7 | 230.88 |
| Newark, NJ | 2 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 5 | 230.94 |
| Richmond, VA | 2 | 2 | 1 | 1 | 6 | 235.00 |
| Kansas City, MO | 3 | 1 | 1 | 1 | 6 | 236.86 |
| Tampa-St. Petersburg, FL | 2 | 3 | 1 | 2 | 8 | 238.68 |
| New Orleans, LA | 2 | 3 | 1 | 1 | 7 | 249.15 |