Moonage Webdream

I just love stuff like this.  I like to ponder the meaning of the picture.  I can do it for days before coming to the final conclusion it just usually is what it is.  This creation by Coyote came to me via Storm.

Technorati Tags: Hmmmmm

My buddy Storm has sent me more food!  ( Digital that is, Mrs. Moon needs to make the assist and fix it for me! )  Check this out folks, it sounds GOOD!

Pollo Kai (a/k/a Sweet & Sour Chicken) - serves 4

Ingredients for Fried Chicken

• 4 boneless chicken cutlets
• 1-2 eggs
• Progresso Italian seasoned bread crumbs
• Oil

1.       Cut chicken breasts into bite sized pieces.

2.       Dip pieces of chicken in egg. 

3.       Coat with bread crumbs.

4.       Fry until golden brown.  Drain on paper towel. 

Ingredients for Sauce (can be doubled if you like alot of sauce)

• 1 T. oil
• 1 c. pineapple juice
• 1 T. corn starch
• 6 T. water
• 3 T. white vinegar
• 1 T. soy sauce
• 1/2 c. brown sugar
• 1/4 c. ketchup
• 1-2 green peppers
• 1 c. canned pineapple chunks

1.       Heat oil and pineapple juice.

2.       In separate dish, mix corn starch and water til smooth.  Add to pineapple juice.  Also add vinegar, soy sauce, brown sugar and ketchup.

Cook til thick. 

3.       Add chicken.  Stir and heat thoroughly. 

Serve over white rice.

I’m quite sure I’ve had this or something very similar to it.  If it is what I think it is, I love it.  And, that’s saying something since I usually really don’t like chicken at all.

Technorati Tags: Food

My buddy Charles gave me this "update" on the exploding toads:

Phil Frog: "Ugh, that last fly left a bad taste in my mouth."
Jill Frog: "How so?"
Phil Frog: "Well, I’ve got a bad case of heartburn; I’ve got gas, and I feel so bloated I — "
Jill Frog: "Phil? PHIL! What’s happening to you?!"
(Phil Frog, unable to respond, gets really bug-eyed as his body grows to three times its normal size, then explodes in front of Jill Frog’s face. His body disappears in a puff of steam.)

(Jill Frog, frightened, goes to shore and rests on a small abandoned ant mound. She looks down the other side of the mound and finds Phil Frog’s body, or what’s left of it. Jill Frog begins to cry, and declares:)

"I found my Phil…on Blueberry Hill!"

Technorati Tags: Humor

Most of the time, Michael picks people that challenges me to figure out what
his angle is.  This one is masterful. 
Josiah Bartlett was
one of the original signers of the Declaration of Independence.  The
top official in New Hampshire leading up to their joining the fledgling United
States was indeed called "president".  Therefore, ex-President Bartlett
soon became Governor Bartlett.  Mr. Read then transposes a time warp on
what ex-President Bartlett would be thinking in 2005 of the party he helped form
over 200 years ago.

Ex-president Josiah Bartlett interviewed by Michael Read at the ex-president’s home in New Hampshire.

Michael Read: “Mr. President, there’s many areas I’d like to cover yet time in this interview is limited so may I ask that you choose where a question directs itself. That said, as a Democratic president, how do you see the Democratic Party now there’s a Republican president? What I mean is, how can the Democratic Party make an impact when the Republicans hold the majority of both House and Senate? As an opposition Democratic Party make its views heard? I have a bias here, sir, in that what I see is not so much opposition in the classical sense but reaction to the statements of the government. That, as one here on the Motley Fools said, politics superseding governance.”

President Bartlett: “It is always economics. Feed a cow silage and you’ll have a cow side and a silage side. The cow people want cheaper silage to they can sell beef cheaper and the silage people want a price support on silage so they can make a profit. Politics is finding the breakeven point through legislation by avoiding the silent hand of supply and demand. Now, that in the process of decision is where politics comes in: emphasis on which side you’re supporting so that by support you get votes.”

Michael Read: “Sir, as a Nobel prizewinner in economics, does the fact of economic sense override the political effect of a decision?

President Bartlett: “If you believe that then you can’t play politics. An economic decision that results in growth may not be politically expedient. What is important is how the electorate, in the zeitgeist, receives your message. The pendulum swings and a good politician know where it’s swinging. Sometimes the swing is against the desire some politicians believe and the result is dissention.”

Michael Read: “Please, sir, explain.”

President Bartlett: “There’s a truism. The Republican part is focused top down and the Democratic party is from the bottom up. Yes, I know that’s a broad description yet history shows that. Which is right? A growth in the high earning segment causes an increase in jobs, no question. Yet who overall benefits? If those earning less and captured by only cash then what is this country for? We, as a country, must give a means by which all share in the growth of the country and its economy.”

Michael Read: “I respect that view, Mr. President, yet you and I know that taxation causes results and unintended consequences. Luxury taxes decimated several areas of the economy and done in the purveyance of equality. The luxury tax on yachts put people out of work. We could argue that taxes are an impediment.”

President Bartlett: “We could. Yet, the question remains: who do we tax but those making suffiecient to be taxed? ”

Michael Read: “Sir, I concede the point yet, as you and I know, taxation of those entrepreneurial serve no one. But, Mr. President, in our reanimating moments, I have a question about how you see your party in the next period. I note that there are few references to you in discussions.”

President Bartlett: “Michael, for it’s existence, the Democratic Party has been a party of brilliant ideas. It has been a social force instituting means of parity and, in doing so, has elevated all we hold dear: unemployment insurance, minimum wage, and many others. Look at the benefits the country has gained from supporting the low-wage earner. This is a Democratic Party’s thrust and all have benefited.”

Michael Read: “As I said in the beginning, so little time and so many subjects. May I ask. in the last part where you have the last word in The Interview That Never Was I ask you view of the Democratic Party?”

President Bartlett: “Right now the Democratic Party suffers from a lack of ideas. Sure, there’s more than enough to rail against, that’s always so, Yet, unless there’s a countervailing idea then all that’s expressed is friction in the system. The Democratic Party has been a party of alternate ideas and, most of them, incorporated. Look at the history of the ideas that democrats have proposed. The Democratic Party if to reassure it’s position it must be a party of ideas not a party of reaction for the sake of reaction. Right now that’s all it seems to do. To me this is not the core of what the party was founded upon”

Michael Read: “Thank you, Mr. President.”

Technorati Tags: Interviews that never were

I’m sure this reference won’t last for too long, so enjoy it will it lasts:

From ebay:

NAPOLEON DYNAMITE STYLE TIME MACHINE MODULUS UNCLE RICO
ONE OF A KIND! CRYSTAL INCLUDED! SWEET!

It sold for $202.50.

Technorati Tags: Hmmmmm

Feste, also called FOOL, the clown employed by Olivia in Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night. He provides much clever wordplay and, like many such characters in Shakespeare, does not hesitate to use his talents to make others look the fool.

Now, this one’s not as simple as it seems.  There are a lot of subtle references to one of my ‘net hangouts, The Motley Fool.  This one is grounded both in history and current times.  I’m not going to say it makes a lot of sense, but it’s fun.  With no further ado, bells, or silly caps, Michael’s interview that never was with someone that never was as well.

MichaelRead: “You were Shakespeare’s Fool who could say out loud what other’s feared the King would say which meant you could cut close to the bone and get away with it. How did you become a Fool?”

Feste: “A lousy agent. I thought I was booked for The Palace and found out it was the palace. Had to alter all my routines. At The Palace I would tell about a pimple on the King’s arse and I’d get gales of laughter; at the palace I changed it to malcontents being a pimple on the King’s arse and everyone nodded sagely. Same hours though. Pay is better especially since it’s known I can make the King laugh I get various Earls asking for one-liners and that’s a coin or two; plus I tell the King before the Earls make their appearance the jokes I sold them and the King and I get a chuckle watching them screw up simple lines.”

MR: “Do you wear Motley and the Cap and Bells?”

F: “Have to. As I said to the King, if I dressed as the Earls how would he know who the joker is? The bells? Most of my humor relies on gossip and I got so good at overhearing that the Earl petitioned the King so I would be heard skulking around. Got my own back: I had all the cats and dogs in the palace belled and now no one says anything when they hear a tinkle. In the men’s pisser it is very quiet. Get it?”

MR:. Yes. Is humor your main source of income?”

F: “Yes yet I have a growing sideline in investment advice. A scroll a week on what the King is buying these days and what side to bet on when there’s a war, that sort of thing. Of course, I have to pay the scribe something yet some weeks it brings in as much as the palace. It’s not expensive at 24 pence and three farthings a year and, for some of those Earls I’ve worked with in the past, I give a free year before they pay.”

MR: I have often wondered about being a Fool and the fine line you walk between laugher and the effect of pissing someone off. If you piss off too many won’t you lose your audience and, possibly, your life?”

F: “Michael, no matter what you do you’re going to piss someone off. I say to the Earls when we’re in front of the King to keep things on topic and I piss off those who want to talk about horses when we’re talking about a horses’ arse. Then, when things get quiet and I throw in a fart then someone objects. First rule of Jesters: you can’t please everyone so don’t try. This also applies to the King – sometimes he’s pissed but don’t forget he may have got to the throne one way but keeps it because he is, truly, one step ahead of what others think. But I have to tell you it can get tense when the King has Richard F, the Court’s Executioner, standing ready to make you a head shorter.”

MR: “So there are efforts to improve the Fool?”

F: “When the King’s economist, Grippen, comes in and drones for an hour there’s Nothing Advanced and Decisions Agreed. Nada. When Hoofus, the King’s Stable Master, comes in and talks it goes on and on and on leaving most of us nodding but for the King who, for some reason, likes him. But when it comes to the Fool it’s alter this, alter that, why can’t we have a cap like yours, it gets on your nerves. More of this, less of that; leave this in, leave that out. Sometime I feel like quitting this and taking up that Scottish game of golf.”

MR: “As usual we are running out of time and, as is our custom on the Interview that Never Happened, you get the last word.”

F: I educate, inform and amuse – and I am good at it. I am good at it because I have a talent and I know how to present that talent. I reserve the right to not be consistent because education, information and amusement change and I can change what I have created! Where was Feste before there was Feste? Realize that if Feste went from the palace to The Palace then the palace would be not what it is now. What would the Earls do then?”

MR: “Thank you, Feste.”

F: “One last thing.”

MR: “Yes?”

F: “Can I get a rec for this?”

MichaelR

Technorati Tags: Interviews that never were

Michael takes on Ray Kroc this time.  For what it’s worth, I’m a huge fan of Ray.  He took something everyone was selling, and sold it better.  He didn’t make it better, he didn’t revolutionize the product, he didn’t re-invent the wheel.  He took what he had  and he sold the heck out of it.  I appreciate people who do something better than everyone else.  And Ray has to be the consumate salesman of all time.

MichaelRead: “Jumping right into it: what do you think of McDonald’s today?”

Ray Kroc: “I’ll answer that in a second but first let me go back to the original MacDonald’s and why I was interested in them enough to buy them. They had volume. Now note this, Michael, they cooked up hamburgers, fries, and a soft drink or shake fast and cheap. A carload of people would come in, say a family or a slew of teens or both at once and they’d get their order in a few minutes. Ever work a grill?

MR: “No.”

RK: “Pity. It’s an experience. The grill is the center of it all. The McDonald brothers prepared everything in advance: patties were sized and ready for the grill, buns cut, and so on. Everything was at hand for the grill man. At the shakes station one person did nothing but make shakes – the reason I came in contact with the McDonald brothers was because I was selling shakes machines and they needed more than they had since business was so good. Car loads and carloads of families and teens.

MR: “Interesting history but I have to go back to my original question about your thoughts of McDonald’s today.”

RK: “There’s a reason for the history. Listen and listen hard, Michael, it has everything to do with McDonald’s today. The company is cutting back on stores and Burger King and Wendy’s are cutting into McDonald’s market share. This is not a bad company yet I wonder if the people have forgotten the means by which McDonald’s became the market leader. How many burgers have you bought this year, Michael?

MR: “I haven’t counted. A few. Why?”

RK: “What’s your favorite burger?”

MR: “I’d say the double Teenburger – hold the tomato.”

RK: “Michael, Michael, Michael! That’s A&W’s. McDonald’s has 13,000 plus restaurants with more than 10,500 run by owner-operators and you had to buy at A&W? Why not at one of mine? I’ll tell you: taste and service. You chose what a better is to you. McDonald’s has to recapture that better.”

MR: “I have to get back to your view of McDonald’s now. What would you do to improve the company? Enough to make me as an investor put money in the company.

RK: “My view is out of favor. I think the company is trying too hard to be all things to all people. Do you know that there’s a plan for a veggie burger? What’s next, a tofu burger? It doesn’t make sense. McDonald’s is trying to be too many things to too many people. Ronald McDonald, our prime mascot is considered a fogy. We spent a lot of money on Hamburgler. Where’s that? I think the present administration is trying to forget its roots. We had a product identification bar none and the company threw it away trying to make the stores everything to everyone. They see Ronald McDonald as a kids’ icon and since they want more adults they’ve rid the commercials of him. Yet, Michael, if you look at the successful stores they have all the old icons in prime display.

MR: “So you’d change the promotion. However a survey recently reported that time of delivery was important in that it’s slow and many said that the pictures advertising hamburgers had little resemblance to the product served.”

RK: “You know who gets blamed for this? The local operator-owner. Look, when we started I said to franchisees: ‘Do it my way and you’ll make money; don’t and you won’t.’ However the company now is heavy-handing the op-o. Sure, I agree new equipment is needed but not if this new equipment faults the program of getting a hamburger to the customer fast. You know George Cohon in Canada, don’t you?

MR: He wrote To Russia with Fries. Nice man.

RK: “Then you know that underneath that niceness there’s a drive to make things work fast. When George opened the store in Moscow they had thousands the first day and no one, repeat no one, had to wait for their order. George and his people made sure that customers came away knowing the McDonald’s experience. That’s what the company should concentrate on right now: a good hamburger fast. Everything else falls into place when that’s the objective. Too simple for you, Michael?

MR: “No, not really. Yet, don’t the owner-operators see this?”

RK: “Damn right they do. The op-o is the heart and soul of McDonald’s and if more were not pushed into schemes they know aren’t effective at the counter they would be, I know, happier. If I were back in charge I’d make it a point to visit every store that isn’t making money and find out why they aren’t. I’ll bet you a Big Mac that those in trouble aren’t following those means that made McDonald’s a choice. But note this, Michael, I would put all my effort into the op-o’s than in any other area.”

MR: “We don’t have much time left yet I do want to ask you about the staffing at McDonald’s –”

RK: “Stop right there, Michael. I hate that word ‘McJobs’. That a word said by those not knowing a damn thing about running a successful McDonald’s restaurant. Ask anyone and I mean anyone who’s working or has worked for McDonald’s about the training and the need for training. McDonald’s is envied for how the company trains its people. Okay, for many it’s their first job and they have to learn what service to a customer really means but they do! I am very, very proud of the people working for us and equally proud of those who have gone on and, using what they have learned at McDonald’s, become successful in other endeavors. Very proud.”

MR: Thank you, Mr. Kroc. As the custom of these Interviews that Never Happened, you get the last word.

RK: “In interviews in the past I would pass out a free coupon for a McDonald’s hamburger but this time you lose out, Michael. Last word? Don’t rule out McDonald’s too quickly. Sure, Burger King and Wendy’s are doing well but the reason they are doing so well is that they haven’t forgotten what made them successful. You mentioned George Cohon’s To Russia with Fries but equally important is Dave Thomas’ Well Done!. In it Dave talks about his MBA: Mop Bucket Attitude. When administration forgets that it’s the customer and only the customer that is important a company suffers. When the customer wants a hamburger, fries and a drink and it doesn’t come quickly, the company has forgotten its reason for being. It’s not that the customer is king it’s that the customer is the reason for being here. There’s no other reason for being in business. That said, trying to cater to too many choices in the menu trying to capture current favor is a mistake. If you look at the solid successes McDonald’s has had you’ll see that everyone was an adaptation of the core hamburger. Last word? I’d bring back Ronald McDonald so fast your head would spin. For heaven’s sake, Michael, take a tour of McDonald’s restaurants and see how many don’t have a Ronald McDonald. The owner-operators know that even though the company has played down Ronald the customers haven’t. Last word? Get the hamburger into the customer’s hands fast. Everything else is a waste.”

MichaelR

Technorati Tags: Interviews that never were

I usually give a little bio about the subject, but this one I can’t do justice.  He is Uncle Miltie.

MichaelR: “Where do we start…”

Milton Berle: “…as the actress said to the Bishop.”

MR: “Hokay, we’re going in that direction, huh? No bio, no reminisces, straight to the one liners. So, what do you do with an elephant with three balls?”

MB: “You walk him and pitch to the rhino. What’s to tell? I was born, I lived, and I died. That last part I had experienced too many times when I was starting out for it to be a novelty. I died in places that are now not even in Rand-McNally. In some places the town was so small the theater manager, the ticket taker, the usher and the audience added up to one. So I was then booed off the stage by one person but one with many hats. And the rooms I had to stay in were so small…”

MR & MB together:: “…the mice were hunchback.”

MR: “You singly made television. When your show was on stores closed. Do you think that will ever happen again? What I’m asking is do you see comedy on television making that impact?”

MB: “Let me tell you, Michael, about live television. Sure, we had an applause sign but we didn’t have a sign telling the audience to laugh. That we had to earn. When we made people laugh, and we did, it was real not canned. Now laughter is part of the script. It’s so predictable: small laughs then the boffo laugh to what is not a boffo line. Laughter has been cheapened. Not to say there isn’t good humor yet if you look at it some of the better is on late night shows with a good funny host. Yet, look even closer and you’ll see they have a live audience, not canned from a machine. Humor is there, you have to search for it. Some of the standup comedians are sharp yet again it’s best when they have a live audience. The object is to get people to laugh at what’s said not laugh in synchronization with a laugh track.”

MR: “For years you catalogued jokes. Worth doing?”

MB: “I think so, yes. If you look at some of the earlier material you’ll see that it’s heavily influenced by what vaudeville was. A joke was a mini skit. Some ran for several minutes to build the arena for the punch line. Now jokes go for the punch line with little buildup. The result’s the same – a laugh – yet the construction has changed. The thrust to create a laugh hasn’t changed its how it’s presented. If you as a comedian match the pace of your audience then that’s your first job. It goes on from there but I think you get my point.”

MR: “So humor hasn’t changed it’s the way it’s done?”

MB: Take Henny Youngman (please) and compare with Robin Williams. Different styles or different pace? Henny set a style that others followed and they altered the delivery pace. It wasn’t that we and that includes Henny were slower but that was the pace of our audiences then. Robin set a pace that other now have to follow. Some can and some can’t. However I say that there’s going to come a comic that has a slow pace and that too will fit because he or she will strike a chord with what the audience needs.

MR: “I’ll pounce on that word ‘need’.”

MB: “An audience is a hungry animal. It needs to be fed and it knows what it likes to eat. It may not be able to verbalize what it wants but it knows what it is when it gets it. A good performer can read an audience like a menu and serve what that audience is hungry for. Sure, the comic may have a routine preplanned yet knowing how to cater to that particular audience is the art in humor. If you look at Chris Rock and see how he manipulates his audience. His humor is coupled with an ability to cause his audience to crest when he wants. When we did the Texaco Hour we had a live audience and we catered to them knowing that if we did the viewing audience would match this. And yes we made that audience laugh at our timing.”

MR: “Some are going to yell at me for doing this but what do you think of our Jester board. Not that I’m fishing for compliments but if you have some…”

MB: “You never saw a Minstrel show, did you? You have a late 1800s early 1900s Minstrel Showboat. You and others set a premise and others respond. A Mr. Interlocutor and responder. Occasionally you have someone who steps outside the frame and gives a monologue. You are setting up a variety show but you don’t realize that yet. I think you have tapped into an area that’s open to going where it will and that may not be what you originally intended. It may have a life of its own – don’t forget, every poster is an audience and as an audience you have to understand what this audiences needs.”

MR: “Milton, we have to draw to a close and I haven’t asked a fraction of what I wanted to. You’ve been a role model for me. So can I thank you?”

MB: “When you’re next at the Friar’s Club you could order the Berle Sandwich: comes with a cross dressing. So where’s the rim shot? Smarten up, Michael.”

MR: “Thank you, sir.”

MichaelR – Jester

Technorati Tags: Interviews that never were

This is cute.  As my buddy Fordlove from The Motley Fool notes, everyone who’s ever done any of this stuff has a "you had to be there" tale to go with each situation.  I have several for each one except for "snoggin your same sex buddy for a laff".  I’ll post some over time.  A couple I guess I already have.

Something I really enjoy about this thing is you get a real dose of local New Zealand slang.  I enjoy other cultures.  You learn it best in casual situations.  This is about as casual as you can get I hope.

Technorati Tags: Humor

A skydiving cinematographer was killed after his legs were severed in a midair collision with the airplane he had jumped from, authorities said.

Albert "Gus" Wing III had already deployed his parachute Saturday when he struck the left wing of the DHC-6 Twin Otter propeller plane at about 600 feet, a witness on the ground told police.

I am lost here.  How in the heck do you get hit by the airplane you had jumped from?  I think this pilot’s in a world of trouble.  If anyone sees any updates, please do give me a shout.

Technorati Tags: Hmmmmm