Moonage Webdream

A Minnesota teenager has been sentenced to 18 months in prison and 10 months of community service, after he pleaded guilty to launching a variant of the Blaster worm in 2003. Jeffrey Lee Parson, 19, of Hopkins, MN., was a high school senior when he downloaded and modified the worm, the Associated Press reported. His variant launched a distributed denial-of-service attack against a Microsoft Corp. Web site and personal computers. The government estimated the variant infected more than 48,000 computers.

Now, the jail time is pretty rough. However, rather than serving a set amount of time for community service, as judge, I would have had the kid indentify each of the 48,000 computers he intentionally disrupted and have him spend the equivalent amount of community service time it took each of the computer owners to fix their computer.  I bet that would be a LOT longer than 10 months.  And, if the computer owners lost any money because of this jerk’s actions, he would have to make retribution.

If someone damages your car, we have an entire industry ready to fix any dent.  For reasons I don’t understand, intentionally damaging someone’s computer just doesn’t seem to carry the same weight.  Maybe when it does, writing viruses won’t seem so cute.

Technorati Tags: Jerk of the Day

Thanks to Dirty Dingus for this one.

An unemployed but well-endowed lady in England is renting space on her breasts via Ebay.  I kid you not.

I think this is right clever, easy to do, and effective advertising for the advertisee.  So far it seems to be fetching her about 410.00 pounds.  Not too bad I would imagine for the amount of work involved.

Wonder when we’ll start seeing famous breasts with logos?

Technorati Tags: Pavlov's Dog, People

(Officer) Macon was called to the nursing home after Margaret Kimbrell refused to leave. Kimbrell has said she was distraught after the staff would not disclose the location of her sick friend, and she became concerned the friend had died.

Kimbrell jerked away from the officer and swung her arm at Macon, according to a police report. The officer then fired the Taser, police said.

Officer Hattie Jean Macon received a verbal warning and was required to attend a Taser retraining course after the investigation found she acted prematurely when she used the 50,000-volt Taser, according to the report released Thursday.

Ms. Kimbrell is 75 years old.  I would be embarassed beyond words if I had to let people know I had to use a taser to restrain a 75 year old woman.  For thinking it was the right thing to do, Ms. Macon gets the Moon Jerk of the day.

Technorati Tags: Jerk of the Day

A new study found that male monkeys will give up their juice rewards in order to ogle pictures of female monkey’s bottoms. The way the experiment was set up, the act is akin to paying for the images, the researchers say.

There’s really not that much difference between man and monkey to this day.  Especially when it comes to the universal beginning of time industry.

Technorati Tags: Pavlov's Dog

I heard this story on one of the news radio stations while travelling today.  It was so over the top I almost didn’t believe it.  They played part of the song, I couldn’t believe that either.  Basically, this is the take:

Miss Jones In the Morning, a dj in New York, was running something called "Tsunami Song".  Here are SOME of the lyrics:

There was a time when the sun was shining bright
So I went down to the beach to catch me a tan
Then the next thing I knew, a wave twenty feet high
Came and washed your country away

And all at once you could hear the screaming ch*nks
And no one was safe from the wave
There were Africans drowning, little Chinamen swept away You could hear God laughing, "Swim, you b*tches, swim!"

So now you’re screwed, it’s the tsunami
You better run or kiss your ass away, go find your mommy
I just saw her float by, a tree went through her head
and now your children will be sold to child slavery (2X)

Now, Miss Jones is on my jerklist for being insensitive and stupid enough to play this piece of crap.  But, what I don’t know, and honestly don’t even want to know, is who in the hell would be stupid enough to perform this piece of crap?  The story was the station fined everyone involved a week’s pay to be donated to tsunami relief.  That’s not good enough for me.  When confronted with outrage over the song, Miss Jones blasted right back with a racist venom as pathetic as her song.  A week’s salary is not the answer here, Miss Jones just does not need to be broadcasting on public airwaves, period.  the FCC might be concerned with Janet Jackson’s breast a little more than they should be.  They really really need to take a look very closely at Miss Jones’ mouth.  If Miss Jones wants to espouse her racism publicly, she can do it all she wants on a blog of her own.  That kind of crap doesn’t need to broadcast to children.

Sheez Miss Jones, what’s the matter with you?

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UPDATE: 1/27/05

A source at Hot 97 said Wednesday that the show and its staff have been suspended indefinitely.

I certainly hope so.  I know I don’t live in New York, but I know some of my readers do.

Technorati Tags: Jerk of the Day

Now, here’s a sobriety test that would be 100% accurate with men, and, I imagine, most women as well!

Technorati Tags: Humor

A long, long, long time ago, I used to lifeguard at the local YMCA.  Someone stumbled across an old video of me in action:

Technorati Tags: Humor

First of all, check this out.

I was asked by a friend who viewed this, knowing I live in the "woods", whether this was unusual or not.  Actually, it’s not that unusual.  IMO, the squirrel wasn’t so much as bad, as probably rabid.  Before they start frothing at the mouth and shaking uncontrollably before dying, rabid animals will attack anything of any size or any danger.  One bite and the other animal is just as likely to die and/or spread it.  Rabies is most likely transmitted to humans by rats or domestic animals ( cats and dogs ), but, given the docile nature of squirrels and raccoons, those animals can be a threat as well.  So, although that clip is making the rounds as humor, it is very educational as well if people ask what the heck is going on there.

Technorati Tags: Humor

Cruise Ship With 230 Sick Returning To Port

A cruise ship is expected to dock in Florida on Sunday with more than 200 passengers suffering from a stomach virus.

Cruise line official say about 233 of the 3,465 passengers aboard the Mariner of the Seas became sick after the vessel left Port Canaveral on Jan. 16 for a seven-day cruise through the western Caribbean. Twenty of the vessel’s 1,190 crew members also showed symptoms.

Michael Sheehan, a spokesman for Royal Caribbean International, described the illness as "your typical 24-hour stomach virus and nothing more." He blamed a sick passenger for bringing it on board.

You hear these stories quite often.  I think there is a functional flaw in these cruise ships if "a sick passenger" can spread it that quickly.  Better air filtering?  Better health care on the ship?  I dunno.  But something just doesn’t seem right here.

Technorati Tags: Hmmmmm

25 days after the Christmas tsunami struck, this is about the last headline I expected to see:

Waving a flag made of his clothes, a tsunami victim dressed only in his underwear was rescued after surviving alone for 25 days on a flattened island in India’s Andaman and Nicobar archipelago, authorities said Saturday.

The tale of survival reached Port Blair, the capital and the region’s only city, on Saturday as authorities slowly established normal communication links with faraway islands.

There have been a lot of hokey survivor movies and even hokier tv shows.  This one would make a pretty cool movie.  And, it wouldn’t bother me in the least if this guy made millions from it.

Technorati Tags: Heroes