Moonage Webdream

Wow:

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I don’t normally do political stuff here, but this is kinda out there, and seems to fit my Pavlov thread a lot more than my politics one.  So, bear with me.  This is what the McCain/Palin stickers look like for the most part right now:

 

Not terribly exciting.  Love the creativity of sticking the little dipper thingy on there.  But, that’s not really going to grab the attention of anyone outside of Alaska.  Not there’s anything wrong with Alaskans.  But, they only represent three electoral votes out of 538.  They need something that catches the eye of chunks of voters in the other states.  I’m thinking something like this:

 

Now, I did this thing myself, so it looks bad.  But, I didn’t do the original Palin with the rifle.  Someone else beat me to it.  But, you get the idea.  We got all kinds of symbolism going here:

• National security, look at the gun
• The US Stripes and Stars ( look closely at the bikini )
• I assume there is on star for every single state on her bikini, everyone’s represented, not just Alaska.  Although, I’m sure, they have the most prominent star.
• Smokin hot bod.  Appeals to, well, most male voters.  And, I assume, quite a few female voters as well.
• Librarian glasses, appeals to those who consider themselves a little more educated than the rest of us.  And, well, to those who like very smart looking women not necessarily in an educational sense.
• Messy hair, appeals to those of us who aren’t quite as neat as Obama or Biden.
• Smiling with the rifle, represents a symbol for some of us who want someone in The White House who’s willing to let our enemies know that not only are we willing to use force to protect ourselves, we really, really, enjoy doing it.

There are a lot of people that vote for the person they enjoy looking at the most.  That’s why all commercial advertising is usually done by very attractive women and not, well, the normal looking ones.  Politics is no different than your average porn site throwing out babes “in your area” who want to do you.  If you want clicks, you make it look appealing.  Once you’ve caught their eye, THEN you deliver the meat of your product.  In this case, moose would probably be preferred, but the political rhetoric I guess would be more appropriate for a presidential campaign.

Bottom line, Pavlov rules the marketing world.  There is nothing uniquely special about marketing a political campaign regardless of what media and the candidates might think.  McCain has shocked everyone by picking a running mate that actually is fun to look at.  They need to milk that for all it’s worth.

And for those that will claim this would drag politics to an all time low, we are talking about a situation where destroying kids’ lives for political gain is not only condoned by the media, they’re the ones doing it.  It can’t any worse than it already has.  So, have some fun with this Sarah.  I know I’m game. (That’s game as in having fun, not game as in being a moose. )

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I read the previews to this movie and decided to skip it.  Not enough time had passed for me to get completely over Meet The Spartans, which I liked.  Now, Meet The Spartans, along with any of the other Scary Movies, didn’t require much thought.  They all required knee jerk reactions to puns and pratfalls.  However, when I saw the preview, the first thought that went through my mind was, “A five year old would love this.”  Just so happens, I have a five year old.  So, we went.

Now, the critics are right for the most part.  If you don’t really enjoy the movies they poke at, you won’t get much of the humor.  If you do like the movies they poke at, you might get it.  I got it.  I thought many lines and visuals were funny.  Not side-splitting, but pleasantly fun.  And, I had to put up with scenes like this all night:

 

Obviously, I was able to grin and bear it while the five year old hooted and hollered at the rabid chipmunks and people being splattered by falling rocks. 

I think the directors missed their target audience on this one.  If it’s for adults, we need nudity and adult oriented themes.  If it’s for kids, which this one seems to be due to the content, we need no profanity, which this movie could have done just as well without.  It just really seemed confused in what it set out to entertain.  Not too many adults really enjoyed Alvin and the Chipmunks enough to really enjoy seeing them roasted in this one.

All in all, no thumbs for this one.  But, if you have an open mind and a five year old, it’s worth one visit to the cinema and seeing your kid laugh.   One visit.  Matinee only.

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I have received this email in various formats.  Here’s the latest:

One evening a grandson was talking to his grandfather about current events.  The grandson asked his grandfather what he thought about the shootings at schools, the computer age, and things in general.
                              
The Grandfather replied, ‘Well, let me think a minute, I was born before:

• television
• penicillin
• polio shots
• frozen foods
• Xerox
• contact lenses
• Frisbees and
• the pill

There were no:

• credit cards
• laser beams or
• ball-point pens

Man had not invented:

• pantyhose
• air conditioners
• dishwashers
• clothes dryers and the clothes were hung out to dry in the fresh air
• and man hadn’t yet walked on the moon

Your Grandmother and I got married first, . . . then lived together. 

Every family had a father and a mother.

Until I was 25, I called every man older than me, ‘Sir’.

And after I turned 25, I still called policemen and every man with a title, ‘Sir.’

We were before gay-rights, computer-dating, dual careers, daycare centers, and group therapy.

Our lives were governed by the Ten Commandments, good judgment, and common sense. 

We were taught to know the difference between right and wrong and to stand up and take responsibility for our actions.

Serving your country was a privilege; living in this country was a bigger privilege.

We thought fast food was what people ate during Lent. 

Having a meaningful relationship meant getting along with your cousins. 

Draft dodgers were people who closed their front doors when the evening breeze started. 

Time-sharing meant time the family spent together in the evenings and weekends-not purchasing condominiums.

We never heard of FM radios, tape decks, CDs, electric typewriters, yogurt, or guys wearing earrings. 

We listened to the Big Bands, Jack Benny, and the President’s speeches on our radios. 

And I don’t ever remember any kid blowing his brains out listening to Tommy Dorsey. 

If you saw anything with ‘Made in Japan ‘ on it, it was junk 

The term ‘making out’ referred to how you did on your school exam. 

Pizza Hut, McDonald’s, and instant coffee was unheard of.

We had 5 & 10-cent stores where you could actually buy things for 5 and 10 cents.

Ice-cream cones, phone calls, rides on a streetcar, and a Pepsi were all a nickel

And if you didn’t want to splurge, you could spend your nickel on enough stamps to mail 1 letter and 2 postcards.

You could buy a new Chevy Coupe for $600, . . . but who could afford one?

Too bad, because gas was 11 cents a gallon. 

In my day:

• ‘grass’ was mowed,
• ‘coke’ was a cold drink,
• ‘pot’ was something your mother cooked in and
• ‘rock music’ was your grandmother’s lullaby. 
• ‘Aids’ were helpers in the Principal’s office,
• ‘chip’ meant a piece of wood,
• ‘hardware’ was found in a hardware store and
• ’software’ wasn’t even a word.

No wonder people call us ‘old and confused’ and say there is a generation gap… and how old do you think I am?

I bet you have this old man in mind…you are in for a shock!

Read on to see — pretty scary if you think about it and pretty sad at the same time. 

Are you ready ?????

This man would be only 59 years old.

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Me and Moonlet went to see Clone Wars again yesterday.  I really don’t get this movie at all.  For starters:

Why does Skywalker look more robotic than the robots?  Some humans looked even worse.  Now, I know this is a cartoon, but just a little effort would have made a lot of difference.  It just annoyed me.  Especially when you looked at the aliens as well.  For some reason, with this bunch, humans apparently fell at the bottom of the attention for detail.  Then there were all kinds of plot lapses that were annoying.  I mean, especially the force field scene.  What’s with that?  They fight and fight and fight it, and then it just passes right over everyone.  I mean, come on!

All in all, this is a bad movie.  This is not at all what a Star Wars movie is all about.  Lucas, next time, either make a movie or don’t even try.  This is just knocking the Star Wars franchise down a few notches.  Especially when you’re getting beat to death at the box office by Ben Stiller and a movie about a pinup girl.  And, justifiably so.

This, is what I expect from a Star Wars movie:

Bottom line, no thumbs. Skip it. Rent or buy the originals.

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After seeing plenty of sneaks about this movie, I decided I had to see it.  I was not disappointed.

This folks, is the best movie of the 21st century.

This was the first time I spit my drink through my nose probably since Pulp Fiction.

Tropic Thunder delivers MANY lines that will be remembered for a long time.  Possibly one of the best lines, not coincedentally, is delivered by Tom Cruise and is taken directly from, you guessed it, Pulp Fiction.

But the absolute stealer of this show is Robert Downey Jr.  The lines Stiller gives him to work with are classics.

A lot was made by the mental health associations for mocking people with learning disabilities.  That does happen.  However, in the context of what’s happening, it’s appropriate.  And, it feeds Downey my favorite lines of the entire movie.  And, in context of the entirety of the movie, they should feel relieved.  Other groups I can think of who should be offended would include:

• PETA, for very obvious reasons.
• Vietnamese
• whoever is supposed to be offended by child abuse
• whoever is supposed to be offended by conributing to the delinquency of minors.
• gays
• anyone who is offended by the presence of Tom Cruise.
• whoever liked Risky Business
• whoever is offended by drug abuse
• whoever is offended by excessive gore
• whoever is offended by canabalism
• NAACP should have been, but they seem to enjoy the movie as well

The list just goes on and one.  Nothing is spared.  Toss in some big booms, lots of guns, some helicopters, a dose of midget wrestling/karate, and you’ve got the makings of a testosterone classic.  Toss in Matthew McConnaughey to keep the wives happy.  The only thing missing in this movie, was overt female nudity.  Given Jennifer Love Hewiit’s recent epiphony that she should have been naked for the last fifteen years, she wasted the perfect chance to unleash the shame she’s been bearing.  However, it just didn’t really matter all that much.  This movie played about every other card known to man, and pulled it off flawlessly.

I’m serious folks, this is the best movie of the last ten years to me.  It’s a classic.  I truly can not believe Ben Stiller had anything to do with this.  It’s just that good.

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I haven’t found much reason to watch the Olympics this year.  Oh sure, you had some guy swim faster than all the other guys eight times ( technically seven, he had a lot of help in a relay ).  But, really, how many times can you watch someone swim a straight line and get all excited?  I kinda burned out on that in 1972 I think it was.  Then of course, you had another guy run real fast.  It was over in literally the blink of an eye.  That was cool I guess.  I blinked, it was over, I missed it.  Finally, however, I got something I can get excited about:

Talita Rocha of Brazil adjusts her swimsuit during her women’s beach volleyball bronze medal match against China at the Beijing 2008 Olympic Games August 21,

That folks, was not written by me.  That truly is a Reuters release.  Now, I really kinda started feeling kinda guilty over enjoying this incredibly demeaning article about the obviously talented Talita Rocha.  So, I figured I’d do her just and post more of her.  It didn’t take long.  AP ( don’t sue me! ) had a second “story” about her today as well:

Brazil’s Talita Antunes holds the ball during the bronze medal women’s beach volleyball match against China at the Chaoyang Park Beach Volleyball Ground at the Beijing 2008 Olympics in Beijing, Thursday, Aug. 21, 2008. China won 21-19, 21-17.(AP Photo/Natacha Pisarenko)

( Talita goes by either Antunes or Rocha. )

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Anti-constitutionalistically

Got this via email.  Reminds me of college:

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. No thanks, I’m married.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
4. Taco Bell ? No thanks, I’m not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn’t! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I’m not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination . I’d hate to look like a fool!
9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.
10. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.

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Well, my alma mater has made the news:

Kymberly Clem, a 20-year-old student at Eastern Kentucky University, wore the dress Sunday after purchasing it from the mall in Richmond the previous day, the Richmond Register reported Tuesday. After just a few minutes inside of the mall, a security guard approached her and expressed concerns over the length of the garment.

Here’s the picture of the offending outfit:

Now, according to Kim, according to the guard:

“The only thing he said was that other people didn’t like the way I looked, so he wanted me to leave.”

She then took the issue a little bit further:

“I want to speak for everybody else who has been discriminated against but has never said anything,” she told the Register.

Kim’s gonna learn a valuable life lesson from all this. When you’re young and completely naive, total freedom sounds great. However, with that freedom comes responsibility. Not too many people concern themselves with responsibility. That’s why we have laws. If people did act responsibly all the time with concern for the welfare of others they affect, we’d have no need for laws. Now, the way I see this situation is Kim, for whatever reason they chose, was asked to leave a private business. There is no law against that. She has to prove that a Constitutional Right she has was violated in the process of removing her from that private business. The right to dress inappropriately is not one of those Constitutional Rights. Her Constitutional Right to shop was not infringed either, she just had to put more clothes on in order to do it.

The second lesson learned here is taste is subjective. “Whatever she wants” is unfortunately, not legal. I mean, how would she feel if someone other gal had showed up looking like this:

If they had, Kim would never have been asked to leave. In fact, she would never have been asked anything at all since no one would have noticed her in her frumpy overbearing outfit. And, while she may enjoy the fact that she’s young and healthy and therefore her flesh should be exposed for all married men to enjoy ( which I do agree with ), the fact is as our excessive lifestyles of consuming mass quantities of steroid pumped greasy Big Macs being washed down with Bolt Colas and exercising by seeing how many six ounce lifts we can do means that in short order, Kim will more than likely look like this:

At which point I’m sure she’ll be just as quick to suggest someone dressed like Kim take it to the strip club instead of the family shopping mall as her husband cranes his neck to get a little bit more than what the dress was intended to show but that gal obviously intended to.

Did I mention strip clubs?

That’s what Natalie Portman wears to the mall I hear. I don’t think they asked her to leave.

The last problem I have with Kim’s plans for the lawsuit is her statement about people being discriminated against:

“I want them to apologize and let them know that in this day and age, a woman has a right to wear what she wants.”

That Kim, violates my constitutional rights. If a woman can wear whatever she wants, then men should be able to wear what they want.

Do you really want that?

Frankly, I’m all for a good strip show in a mall. It’s the only thing that makes going to malls bearable for me. However, I married smart in that I got a woman confident enough to know I’m not going anywhere else. So, she just shops and I just watch the people go by. I can’t really believe, especially in Richmond, which is definitely a college town, that there would be enough women intimidated by that dress. Trust me, I’ve seen a lot less roaming First Street on any given Thursday in Richmond. I also can’t believe there is a heterosexual male in Richmond that would ask that dress to leave. So, my five yeats in Richmond totally belie what I’m reading here. So, I’ll just have to accept the fact I guess that times have changed and the Richmond I grew up in and loved has changed to the point where young girls wearing very little clothing are now expected to show their privates in bars and not in shopping malls. What a very sad thing my party town has come to.

I’m putting this under Pavlov because of the obvious power Pavlov has over shopping males. ( Well for that matter, the obvious power ANYTHING has over shopping males. )

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Guess who I’m going to see Friday.  I’ll give you a hint ( if the title hasn’t already ):

Now, I’d go into a LOT of detail of how Rod Stewart’s music has been a part of my transition from kid to adult. But, I would guess it would mimic pretty much every 40-something’s experience. For me, since about 1978 or so, if you wanted to get some, or even wanted to try, you HAD to have Rod Stewart’s album on. Or, at the very least, have his picture on the album laying around very visibly after you’ve gotten about six beers into your love for the moment. If that didn’t work instanteously, put on Buffett and get them a little drunker. THEN fall back on Rod. Sure, some guys passed around some pretty awful rumors about Rod, but he was scoring models faster than any of those guys scored period. Rod is somewhere in the same league as Hugh Heffner to me. Just one of those guys that just don’t have a clue how to be anything other than a babe-magnet. I can’t relate, I don’t want to either. If I could, then I’d have no reason, other than hearing Maggie May, to go have some fun Friday night.

And trust me peeps, I’ll have lots of tequila ready. If it works, I don’t change it.

---

Post show update:
The show was excellent! Rod did all the classics and tossed in some covers. The best of which was definitely “Have you ever seen the rain?”. Toss in a smokin hot sax player and three backup singers who can sing better than almost anyone I’ve heard in years, and you’ve got an excellent show regardless of the headliner. The one thing that really struck me was his stage. It was white. All white. Not just curtain white, but instruments were all white, carpet was white, microphones were white, even his wristwatch was white. This made for some very neat, very simple effects. I tried to capture them, but needless to say, my equipment was rudimentary at best. Here’s some samples:


and:

In essence, with a simple flick of the switch, the entire stage changed. For ballads the stage would be blue. For rockers the stage would turn white, purple, whatever. It was very, very, simple. And, it was even moreso effective. I love it. Toss in a massive super high definition screen and you had all kinds of special effects for songs, and pics to tell a story. It was just a well done show. Nothing wild, nothing crazy, just impressive. Toss in Rod’s crowd-abilities and you had a very enjoyable show.

You’d think kids today would look at old-rockers like Rod, Bowie, the Stones, The Who, etc.. and take note that forty years after getting started, they’re still draw crowds in the tens of thousands. Those pics just show the people in front of us. There are probably twice as many, or more, behind us.

Due to a bout with sciatica before and during the show, this may be my last major outdoor show. It’s just too hard on me. If it is my last one, it was definitely worthy of going out on!

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